Postsecret

Every once in a while I see a card on Postsecret that really resonates with me. Something I could have sent in if I had the guts. Sometimes I think a middle finger symbol would be more appropriate than the dreaded words "not pregnant".

Cycle 11 CD18 - We're home!

We got home from our vacation late last night. We were supposed to be home Sunday afternoon but unfortunately we all got crazy sick the last day of the cruise. We were stuck in Mississippi for a few days and DH and my mom had to go to the hospital. ER doctor said upper respiratory infection but the antibiotics aren't really helping so who knows.

I didn't have much luck with TTC on the cruise. I took 20 OPKs with me, which should have been enough for 2 x 10 days. We were actually gone 12 days and I came back with like 7 of them, so yeah I didn't use them like I should have. Some days I used two some days I didn't use any. Didn't temp basically at all. I got an almost positive OPK CD12 I think, give or take a day. CD14 my CM turned creamy, I felt bloated, and my boobs hurt, so I thought there might be a tiny chance I ovulated "on time". Now I think it's just because I was getting sick. Even if I was temping I couldn't use that to confirm or deny because I've had a fever. So I guess we will see how I feel when I get over this illness. I've had EWCM on and off since then but that could be because I haven't O'd or because of the decongestants and stuff.

I think that if I haven't ovulated yet the chances of doing so this cycle are pretty slim. Illness can cause anovulatory cycles even for women with perfectly healthy reproductive systems. Even if I do manage to O in the next few days we would miss it anyway. I'm going to start my OPKs up again today just in case, and will resume temping when I'm fairly sure my fever has broken (and I've managed to unpack and find my thermometer). If after I get better I think there is a chance I actually did O then I'll test around Feb 4th and then probably call for provera. But we'll see how things go.

We did have a fantastic time on our trip until the last day. I will try and post a recap when I'm feeling up to it. I know ICLW is this week so here's a Hello! to anyone stopping by for that. I know I signed up but it doesn't look like I'll be participating. Maybe next month I will do the commenting but won't add my blog to the list to make up for it.

Also I see I've somehow made it over 50 followers! That is just craziness to me. I will try to check out the new people and say a proper hello when I'm feeling a bit better.

Vacation post

We are currently having a fantastic time sailing around the Caribbean. Or at least I imagine we are. It would suck if we weren't, right? I'm not going to pay the exorbitant price for internet on the boat so you'll just have to wait till next week to find out! So since I can't update you on my cycle or how TTC on vacation is going, here are some random thoughts I've had over the past few weeks that never made it in to previous posts.

I'm a gamer. One of the games I love is Sims 3. I'll be honest, I kind of project my infertile frustration on my Sims by giving them giant families. One of the dudes I've been playing has 15+ kids with like 7 different women. =D Anyway, one of his baby mamas recently had twins and I couldn't think of a good name for them. I haven't had to name most of his kids because the mom didn't live with him so it was automated, but I had to move this girl in because her family already had 8 people. So I went to the play store and searched for a baby name app.

Plus he has some on the way.

What I found was Baby Name-o-Matic. This thing is seriously awesome. It gives you a random list of names picked out of the 5000+ in it's database, and you rate them 1-5 stars. After you rate a few it considers the ones you've given high ratings and then generates names that have something in common with them. I apparently tend to like English/Irish/Scottish names so that's what it mostly gives me. When you click on a name to rate it the app also shows the origin and meaning which is nice. I showed it to DH and he decided our girl name was going to be Aubrey. Not necessarily because he loves the name Aubrey, but because it means "ruler of elves" in French. =D Too bad for him I've had two girl names picked out for years.

Another discovery I've made recently is a baby picture generator. Someone posted about it on one of the forums I visit or on their blog, I can't really remember. The one I used was Morph Thing and it was fairly easy, although more complicated than just uploading a picture. You have to upload your picture and then tell the program where the different parts of the face are, like eyes, nose, chin, etc so it can line those up correctly. Unfortunately DH and I both wear glasses and you can still see their imprints in the generated pictures. Here they are! I think they're pretty cute.

Cycle 11 CD4 - Sharing the Good News

First I want to remind everyone to comment on my International Blog Delurking Week post. I know more than three people are reading this!

No, I'm not talking about Jesus. You guys can look up info on him on your own if you wish. =P Some very good things have happened since my last cycle update that I'm very excited to share with everyone! First, last week's post was featured on Stirrup Queen's Friday Blog Round Up. If you're unfamiliar with her, she curates Stirrup Queen’s Completely Anal List of Blogs That Proves That She Really Missed Her Calling as a Personal Organizer as well as hosting IComLeavWe for the ALI community. So she's kind of a big deal. I feel like I've moved up a step in my blogging career.

Secondly, AF was two/three days late. I say two/three because in the past I've had an LP of both 12 and 13 days. Last cycle it jumped up to 15! I was freaking out for a while but she finally showed up. I guess the extra Clomid made my progesterone go up so it was increased. I felt all TWW like my progesterone was higher as my symptoms were more intense, so this seems plausible to me. The good news is I almost definitely will not O on the cruise now so we can just relax. CD17 isn't even till two days after we get back and I highly doubt I will O that early again. So that is something we no longer have to worry about.

The big, BIG, news though is we are switching to Femara!! Yup, no more Clomid for me. I'm all about less side effects, especially this cycle. Femara isn't supposed to dry your CM out like Clomid does so that eliminates one of my supplements. We are starting back at the beginning with 2.5mg (~50mg Clomid) so I doubt I will even O this cycle. Some people respond better to Femara than Clomid so it's possible but I expect an anov cycle. That's okay though because I no longer have to worry about stopping treatment in a few cycles. I feel like I can afford to have an anov cycle, even though they suck big hairy monkey balls. If my cycle is probably going to be anov anyway, there's no point in stressing about it on the cruise. If I can't temp and use OPKs and take my supplements religiously on the cruise it shouldn't really matter. I still want to try and temp or use OPKs though so I will know for sure if I didn't ovulate, and can start provera as soon as possible. Of course I really hope I do O even if I don't feel the pressure to catch it.

If you're not aware, Femara is way more expensive than Clomid which is why we didn't switch earlier. We didn't think we could afford it. However one of my friends told me about a coupon that makes it like 80% off! I was able to get 5 tablets for about $5. If I ended up taking 7.5mg eventually that would only cost about $10. So it's really comparable to Clomid this way. If you're interested in switching yourself, the coupon is from goodrx.com.

International Blog Delurking Week 2013

Every year the first full week of January is International Blog Delurking Week. What does that mean? It means if you have been reading my blog but not commenting, also known as lurking, this is your opportunity to let me know you're there! A simple "hi!" would be fine, or you can go into something a little deeper. The amount of views I get each week is so disproportionate to the amount of comments, so I'd just like an opportunity to say hi back and thank you for reading. =] I am guilty of lurking myself so I encourage everyone else to participate! 

Don't want to just say hi, but can't think of anything else to say either? How about answering this prompt: If you won the lottery, other than paying off bills, what would you buy?

To answer my own question I would of course bring out the big fertility guns, injectibles at the very least and IVF if that didn't work. I would buy a new-to-me car. I would get a much nicer apartment/rented house, but not buy a house as we are looking at moving away from the area in 2014. I would update my wardrobe slightly and get some really nice, supportive bras. The ultimate goal though would be to invest the bulk of it so it could supplement our finances long-term. 

Cycle 10 CD29 (12dpo) - Big Effin' Negitive

I was so sure. I don't know why I was, just set myself up for disappointment. For the past week or so I've felt like I had some great symptoms. I tested at 9dpo and thought I saw a really super faint line. Like one of those that you only see sometimes. Normally I would have just thought "line eye" and not gotten my hopes up, but very recently one of my friends had a line like that at 9/10dpo and then got great lines a few days later. But I guess it really was line eye or an indent maybe. This batch of tests seem to get a lot of indents.

So next cycle. Next cycle. Sigh. AF should be here tomorrow or Friday. I hope she waits until Friday because I'm going almost two hours away tomorrow for my dress fitting, and I really don't want to have to deal with that. This next cycle is going to be problematic because of our cruise. I'm not sure what to do. We'll be gone from CD9/10 till CD17/18 which is pretty inconvenient. I'm supper glad I won't have AF, but this is about the worst possible timing other than that. If I O the same time I did this cycle, which I think is safe to assume since the protocol is the same, then I'll O the last day or two of our cruise. If I go back to O'ing CD20 then I'll still be in my fertile period on the cruise.

I know what you're thinking, "Babymoon! Vacation is a great time to conceive!" This is probably true for most people, but in our situation it's not as easy as that. I want to just relax on this vacation we've been planning for like 7 months or something. Unfortunately "relax and it will happen" isn't as applicable when you're infertile. For one thing Clomid makes me pretty miserable. For another trying to temp on vacation isn't going to be easy. Who wants to carry around OPKs and a plastic pee cup on vacation? I know I won't be able to take my Metformin. I can't even remember to take it when we go out to dinner now, so there's no way I'm going to remember on vacation, and I have to take it right with dinner or it makes me sick. I'm going to have to take 6 different supplements with us and remember to take them everyday. I'm going to have to keep track of our BD timing and make sure it's enough but not too much, and no one wants to worry about that on vacation.

So the logical thing would be to take the cycle off, right? Only that comes with it's own problems. A while back I read an article about new research that suggests cycles starting with an induced AF have a lower pregnancy rate. I can already tell by my temps that cycles starting with an induced period are different than ones with a natural one. The time we conceived was the only time so far that I ovulated after a natural AF. So it seems like this next cycle might have a better chance since I will have a natural AF. If I skip next cycle and don't take Clomid, then I probably won't O and have to induce AF again, and them when we start back TTC my chances will be lower again. Sigh.

Oh and one of my pregnant friends went for a scan today and was told it's likely her baby won't survive due to bad Down's or a heart defect or both. She's been bleeding for a few days. Oh and my friend I mentioned earlier who had the super faint line on 9/10dpo and then got great lines lost her baby too. This year is really starting out with a bang.