Sunday, April 20, 2014

From Left to Write: Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan

I'm white. Like, really white. We once went to Pensacola (which is about 2 hours away) and the side of my body next to the window got sunburned. When I bleached my hair every single one of my family members exclaimed "Wow, you look like an albino!" the first time they saw me. I thought it was coordinated but it wasn't. I have to put on sunscreen before walking the dogs. If we are going to some outdoor function I can put on sunscreen 5 times throughout and I'll still get sunburned. No one is surprised to find out I'm part Irish.

My husband is not white. We aren't sure what happened there because all of his family is, but somehow he turned out brown. Could be some recessive gene thing or maybe his mom cheated, but we don't know and probably never will. Obviously we don't know what he "is" so he gets to check the other box!

Since we in an interracial marriage this has had some consequences. One of my friend's husbands told him that in the LDS religion they believe his skin is brown because his ancestors were cursed. For real, not making that up. He's noticed he gets strange looks sometimes when we are out together. My grandparents weren't especially pleased about it. One of the reasons it's easy for me to be for marriage equality is because not long ago my own marriage wouldn't have been legal.

I love seeing us together though, especially our hands intertwined. It's like yin and yang. I used to daydream about how our kids would look, a beautiful combination of dark and light. Being genetically related to our children isn't super important to me, but I wanted that. There is a chance that we could adopt a biracial child or embryo but it's not a guarantee. We would probably have to wait longer for one to become available, especially since we don't even know what ancestry to ask for when it comes to Josh. Mexican? Polynesian? Middle Eastern? This is just one more thing infertility has taken from us.

This post was inspired by the novel Dad Is Fat by comedian Jim Gaffigan who riffs on his adventures co-parenting 5 kids in a two bedroom Manhattan apartment. Join From Left to Write on April 22 we discuss Dad Is Fat. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes

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