30 Days of Thanks: Day 22

22. I am thankful for my husband.

I'm going to be honest, I've been procrastinating writing this post. I was looking forward to it and planned since the beginning to make it my actual Thanksgiving post as he's what I'm most thankful for, but now I just don't feel so thankful. It's nothing he's done, there's just a black cloud hanging over me in general. I'm afraid if I write it now I won't do it justice since I've been feeling so down. But part of the reason I decided to participate in 30DoT was to remind me that I do have stuff to be thankful for on the hard days. If I stop now then the rest of the month's posts would have been in vain. So here goes, my best attempt to describe in words how thankful I am for my DH.

When I met my husband I wasn't in a great place. The few years around my high school graduation were hard as I was dealing with a lot of crap regarding my sociopathic father. As always I was having health problems and was confused about what I wanted to do with my life. I knew I really wanted to be a wife and mother, but you can't major in that. The fields that called to me, the "ologies" as I call them (meteorology, oceanography, geology in particular), I couldn't do because I'm dreadful at math. Meeting him really brought a light into my life. Right away I learned he shared my love of musicals, which was awesome because there weren't many in my life that did. We could talk about random stuff that didn't matter, but looking back I realize those conversations did matter. They mattered very much. Besides just being a friend he also challenged me intellectually. We would debate religion and politics and such and he let me use my mind, without being condescending if I didn't agree with him. There were a few things he changed my mind on but mostly he helped me feel confident in my beliefs, as explaining to him why I believed what I did helped me figure it out for myself. We became close pretty fast but it took a while for us to be romantically involved.

When he mentioned he had feelings for me I was scared. My self esteem was terrible back then so I always questioned why he would be interested in me. Was it a scam? We met online and lived 8 hours away from each other so I also thought it wouldn't work. Back then online relationships still had a bum rap, so I was also nervous of what my friends and family might say. He kept being my friend and bringing up ways that it could work, and I ultimately relented. We starting making plans to meet in person for the first time. It took very little time for him to bring up the L word and again I was scared out of my mind. I couldn't say it back at first but he was very patient with me. I knew I loved him the same way you love friends, he was definitely one of the most important people in my life, but did I love him love him? Eventually I just knew. I did, and we were going to get married. He was my "one", it's as simple as that. Of course I didn't go around telling people so at the time...

He moved to be with me. The left his home, his friends, his family, his job, everything to be with me. I'm so thankful for that because I couldn't have done it. I've had many of my friends and some family move away, and that's hard on me even still having people here. It's hard even being a few hours away from my friends and my sister so I don't know how I would have dealt with being 8 hours away from everyone. But he's a trooper. He hardly ever complains about being away from his friends or family. He misses them, obviously, but it's worth it to him to be with me. That kind of love is something I am blessed to have.

I feel bad sometimes because I'm not the same person I was when we met. Like I said, I've always had health problems but they are so much worse now. Last march I started having constant cramps where I had to be medicated 24/7. Then I had surgery and didn't recover well. After that I developed chronic chest pain. I had to go to a doctor over and hour away to find a way to deal with that, and I still had breakout pain a few times a month. Then I started Clomid which comes with mood swings and hot flashes and more cramps. The doctor I was seeing is no longer working and I ran out of my medication so the chest pain has come back and I've had cramps all cycle. Basically my point is I've been drugged up for a year and eight months. I can't work, can't go to school, can't drive, I'm "silly" all the time, I don't do that much housework, I can't have the kind of conversations we used to.

But through all this he has been there for me. He never makes me feel like I'm worthless or not good enough. Sure he jokes sometimes, but I know he doesn't mean it. He just wants me to be better and it hurts him to see me like this. He was really hesitant to have a biological child because he's afraid they would inherit my health problems. I understand his fear, it's one we share, but I really wanted to have the experience of pregnancy. I wanted to look at our child and see us in them. I'm very white, he is... not. I think our children would be such a beautiful mix of the both of us. Knowing how important it was to me he got on board. (It also helps that we're not really in any position to adopt right now.) Some wives can't even convince their husbands to have kids, so that he would do this for me despite the potential problems really means a lot.

I'm not sure what I would do without him.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 21

 

I know It's not the 21st anymore. Heck, it's technically not even the 22nd. I have a special post planned out for the 22nd otherwise I would combine these two.

21. I am thankful for Coolness Graphed.

Coolness Graphed is a tumblr that well, graphs the coolness of things. I know it sounds kinda dumb but I find it endlessly entertaining. It's one of my favorite websites to visit, especially if I'm feeling down. You should go read all 28 pages but in the meantime here are some that I think relate to TTC/babies. The first one doesn't really relate unless you'e had a loss.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 20

20. I am thankful for free zombie books.

As I've mentioned before, I like to read. I prefer to read "hard copy" books as nothing can really compare to  the experience of holding the book in your hand, grasping the next page in anticipation of what is to come. However I recognize that there are some situations where having eBooks are more convenient. I don't own an eReader but I do have a Kindle app on my phone that works pretty well.

A while ago someone shared freezombiebooks.com with me on G+. I like books, I like free, and I like zombies so this was right up my alley. From their website:

The name of FreeZombieBooks.com is pretty self explanatory. Every day (except Sundays) we share links to free zombie books for the Kindle or any device with the Kindle app. 

These books are 100% free legal to download. Why are they free? The authors can make them free for up to 5 days in a 90-day period. They do this to get their book out into more people’s hands. Please repay the favor by reviewing the books you download and checking out the rest of the authors’ works. 

We do make some money doing this. Every link to Amazon is an affiliate link, so if you click through and buy anything on Amazon within a day or so, we’ll get a small commission. This in no way affects your Amazon shopping experience, and it’s the reason we can keep providing this service for free.

So far I haven't read very many of the books as this is my back up, but I like knowing and I have several waiting for me to get to if I need them. Right now I'm reading 50 Shades of Gray Matter and it's pretty awesome. The description says it's "semi-erotica" but I wouldn't really classify it as such. Basically people who are infected can keep from becoming "full zombie" by remaining um, aroused, as the zombie infected blood rushes away from their brains. But other than some jokes about this it's pretty tame. There's no sex scenes or anything. The writing isn't super well done but it's really funny. I think maybe the author just needed a better editor or something. The book is normally $4 but it's currently free for prime members.

As an aside, I'm also on Goodreads. You should become my friend or whatever it's called over there.

Fertility Friend Thanksgiving Discount/ 30DoT: Day 19

Fertility Friend is the website/mobile app I use to chart my cycles. The basic free version is pretty good but the VIP version has some nice perks. Normally it runs $120/year (or less for less time) which is definitely too pricey for me considering it isn't necessary. However they've just announced a Thanksgiving Special on their Facebook page. This promo allows you to get a full year for only $25! Normally it costs that much for 3 months! Definitely something all you other charters should consider getting. Now let's home I don't need it a full year...

I think this is going to be what I'm thankful for today as well. Partly because it's awesome, but also so I don't have to post three times today. =D

30 Days of Thanks: Day 18

18. I am thankful for J.K. Rowling.

When I was little I liked reading and having books read to me. The Spot books by Eric Hill were my favorite. Unfortunately, I was too smart for my own good. My reading level was several grades higher than my own, thus I was forced to read boring old people books. I hated it. It really put me off reading for a while. Then in middle school I was up at school in the summer for some reason and I found a copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner from Azkaban that someone had left behind. I didn't have anything else to do so I started reading it. Obviously I was very confused and had no idea what was going on, but I liked it.

 

I quickly read through all the books out of the time and it changed my life forever. I was a huge Harry Potter nerd. I read fanfiction, listened to/appeared on podcasts, had midnight release parties, hosted a Wizard Rock concert, and most of my friends in high school I made because of our mutual interest in Harry Potter. That last icon up there, about Voldemort? I made that. I made several HP themed icons in my day but that's by far the most popular one. Imagine the most HP obsessed person you can think of, that was me. Sean Biggerstaff, the guy who played Oliver Wood, was at the top of my celebrity crush list for pretty much ever.

Harry Potter let me know that I could enjoy reading. There were stories out there that could engage my mind without boring me to death. It's such a well planned out series that I could read it over and over and pick up on new little details each time. I spent so much time theorizing and using critical thinking skills because of this book. When you get to the end, and you learn the full backstory of who Snape is... it's just amazing. There is so much depth to him He's still my favorite fictional character. 

More than just impacting all of my teenage years to a greater degree than anything else, more than bringing me and my friends together, J.K. Rowling reminded me of my love for the written word. I started reading again and never looked back. Reading, especially fantasy, is one my favorite hobbies now and I'm not sure that would be true if I hadn't found that book in middle school. I can never thank her enough for that.

30 Days of Thanks: Days 16 & 17

I was busy yesterday and didn't get a chance to post so I'm combining them again.

16. I am thankful for short heels.

Yesterday my DH and I attended a formal murder mystery dinner. It was a lot of fun and I hope they have another one. Since I didn't really have anything appropriate to wear I had to buy new stuff which wasn't as fun. I only have like one pair of beat up black flats that I wear every day and I knew those weren't going to cut it. As a child I used to wear heels all the time, I would even play on my pogo-stick while wearing them. Now not so much. I was able to get some heels that are probably 1 inch from Kohls and they are awesome. It says they are for "juniors" but honey badger don't care. They are comfy as heck for dress shoes. Here they are and then a picture of me and DH all dressed up. =]

  

17. I am thankful for blog hops.

I have recently made it to 23 followers which I think is awesome. It may not seem like much to you guys, but  that's one follower more than my last blog several years ago ever got. I've had several blogs in the past but this is by far my most successful. I think part of the reason why is because I have a defined purpose here that lacked before.

Anyway, a few of those followers are people who I knew prior to blogging but most of them/you come from blog hops. I've also found several new blogs that I enjoy reading from those same blog hops. Here are links to the ones I normally participate in.

   

30 Days of Thanks: Day 15

15. I am thankful for Joss Whedon.

 Oh, where do I even start? He has graced the entertainment industry with so much awesomeness since 1989 I could probably do a whole "30 Days of Thanking Joss Whedon" series. That's actually kind of tempting, but this is a TTC blog so I won't.

My absolute favorite piece of his work has to be Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. It's actually my favorite movie of all time. Of all time! How can you resist Neil Patrick Harris as the lovable evil genius, pitted against his hunky super hero nemesis Nathan Fillion, with Felicia Day in between them? You can't. Which is why you should watch it in it's entirety on YouTube right now. (If for some reason the video gets taken down it's also on Netflix). This movie has brought so much joy to my life that it alone deserves a spot in this month's thankfulness entries. But wait, there's more!

I first met Fran Kranz while watching Dollhouse, and he quickly became one of my favorite Whedon actors. You see, Joss Whedon likes to use the same actors over and over again which is lovely really. I enjoyed Dollhouse, although the first season was better than the second in my opinion. If you haven't seen it I believe it is also on Netflix.

Cabin in the Woods is just awesome. It also has Fran Kranz in it. If you like the scary/horror genre at all you should see this movie. It has just the right amounts of... everything. Along with Fran Kranz, it features other Whedon favorites like Amy Acker from Dollhouse and Angel, as well as Chris Hemsworth who you might know as Thor from...

The Avengers, also written and directed by Joss Whedon.

Watch Dr. Horrible to get this joke.

This is just the beginning of what he has given to nerd/geek culture. He's also at least partly responsible for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly and it's movie Serenity, Toy Story, Atlantis: The Lost Empire, Alien Resurrection, X-Men, Twister, a new adaption of Much Ado About Nothing (also staring Fran Kranz <3), and has written several comic books. Basically he's amazing and my world would be far less entertaining without him.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 14

14. I am thankful for Rooster Sauce.

I like things spicy. As Shaggy said in (I think) Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, "mo' hotter, mo' better". My go-to when things just aren't spicy enough is Sriracha aka Rooster Sauce. It can go on just about anything that isn't dessert, but my personal favorite is spaghetti. I like to put it in the ground turkey when I'm browning it and then throw some more into the sauce for good measure.

Recently I found that the same company (Huy Fong Foods) makes something else simply called Chili Garlic Sauce. I put it in our stir fry tonight and it was so good. I think it's supposed to be used less as a condiment added to food after cooking and more as one of the ingredients. Until now I was using sriracha for that as well but I think I will use the chili garlic paste from now on.

Source: The Oatmeal

30 Days of Thanks: Day 13

13. I am thankful for my husband's tailor. 

We were out of town again for most of the day as we had to go pick up DH's suit. It needed to be altered and the lady who does that (tailor, seamstress, not sure what the proper term is) lives about an hour and a half away. We are going to a formal murder mystery dinner on Friday so while in that area we decided to look for dresses. It's a school function and my mom also attends the school my DH goes to/works at so me, DH, my mom, and my little sister went. My mom and little sister were able to find dresses but I was not. I am never able to find a dress that fits. For those that don't know, I have a ridiculous cup size (F/G) which makes things difficult. Well apparently the tailor/seamstress lady also makes custom dresses! She said I can find a picture of a dress I like online, sketch something myself, or tell her what I want and she will sketch something, then she will make it to my measurements. We can go to the fabric store and pick out whatever fabric I want. Depending on how expensive the fabric is it probably won't cost me anymore than it would to buy a dress off the rack! I won't be able to do that by Friday obviously, but I also need a second formal dress for our cruise in January. So I am going to be thinking and looking around online over the next week and probably meet up with her the week after Thanksgiving to talk more about it. I haven't had a dress made for *me* since I was like a toddler or something so I am really looking forward to it. I am not however looking forward to searching for more dresses tomorrow... Wish me luck!

I did think it was funny that at one of the stores the lingerie section was right next to the maternity section. Kind of like a warning, "CAUTION: If you buy some of these, you may need some of those." =D

30 Days of Thanks: Day 12

12. I am thankful for smart phones.

I was thinking today how convenient is it to have phones that do so much. Due to PCOS my cycles are naturally very unpredictable. There were times as a teenager that I literally could not remember which month I last had AF because it had been so long. Until I started on birth control at 17 or 18 my best guess is I only had one or two periods a year on average. Now however I know down to the day when AF last arrived. When I go to the doctor I can tell her I'm on CD127 or whatever it is, instead of saying I think it's been a few months.

Obviously that's not the only way my life has been improved by smart phones, it's just the one that got me thinking about the subject. I'm now able to check the weather, play games, take pictures and video, read, check my social media sites, make grocery lists, get directions via GPS, etc all from one device. It's amazing to think how different things are now than they were just 8ish years ago when I would have gotten my first cell phone. We don't even have a land line phone anymore. Technology certainly has it's draw backs but I am very thankful for all the ways it makes my life easier.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 11

11. I am thankful for sleeping in.

I was out of town again all day today (well I guess technically yesterday now) so I'll make this one short.

I am not a morning person and never have been. I started being home schooled in middle school and loved it because it meant I only had to get up early enough to go to 1PM band class. I took an 8AM class in college once and lets just say it did not go well. Now that I'm a stay at home wife I can basically sleep as late as I want! My day is kind of the opposite of most people, I get up in PM and go to bed in AM and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am greatly looking forward to having kids obviously but sleeping in is definitely something I am going to miss. I plan to enjoy it while I still can. =]

30 Days of Thanks: Days 9 & 10

I am bundling yesterday and today's posts as I was out of town yesterday, then was pretty out of it from the Dramamine I took for motion sickness. Originally I was going to post both of these for day 9 but I figured might as well make it count for both days. =D

9. I am thankful for my friend Jessica.

I've known Jessica since I was in third grade. There have been times where for whatever reason we weren't that close, mostly because we lived farther from each other than we would like. I am blessed to have the kind of friend in her that is a constant in your life regardless of how often you actually talk or see each other. Neither of us are really talkers but I know she is there for me if I need her and I hope she knows I am there for her. She is among the few people from elementary/middle/high school I consider to still be my friend rather than just a Facebook acquaintance. I will always cherish the memories I have of sleepovers and Harry Potter theorizing and playing goofy golf with our season passes as kids. I can only hope that one day my child will find a friend to make those kind of memories with. I am thankful that I am able to have a lifelong friend like this.

10. I am thankful for my friend John.

Several years ago Jessica started dating a guy named John. He was different from her past boyfriends from the beginning. He really made the effort to connect with us on a personal level rather than just be her SO. I might not have known him as long, but I consider him to be just as much my friend as her. Since he runs the Minecraft server I play on sometimes I actually talk to him more than her lol. I obviously don't know all the inner workings of their relationship but he seems to be a great partner and father to their son. He even engages with my little sister and treats her like a niece or something rather than just some annoying kid. He has a lot in common with my DH so they have become friends as well. I am thankful that we can all hang out and have fun as a group.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 8

8. I am thankful for my little sister.

My sister and I (with part of my aunt and uncle).

We found out yesterday that my little sister is pretty much allergic to everything. Trees, shrimp, dogs, peanuts, cats, grass, soybeans, mold, if you can be allergic to it she probably is. She also has very bad eczema which they think may have hid any rashes in the past which is why they didn't figure it out until now. She is so allergic that my mom has to get rid of the carpet, put plastic between her mattress and sheets, rehome the cats, and my sister will need to carry an epipen with her everywhere. It's a miracle that she hasn't had a reaction bad enough to need emergency care. If we were a family that ate seafood she might have died. So I am thankful that she is still with us here today.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 7

7. I am thankful for Rainbow Babies

In the TTC world children that are conceived following a miscarriage are called "rainbow babies". While all children are a blessing I am especially thankful for those given to couples who have dealt with infertility and pregnancy loss. Today I found out that one of my TTC friends is expecting her rainbow baby after a devastating loss at 10 1/2 weeks. They have special circumstances that I won't go into here that make this pregnancy even more of a miracle than normal. I am so happy for her and feel blessed to have met her on this journey. I can't wait till I can cherish my very own rainbow baby!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 6

6. I am thankful for short queues. 

source: AP

If you didn't know, today was election day in the US. We went to vote at about 10am before DH had to go to class. Before leaving I checked out local newspaper's Facebook page and saw that some locations were reporting two hour wait times. This was my face: O.o But then we got there, and there wasn't a line at all! Literally no wait whatsoever. I was very thankful for that.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 5

5. I am thankful for Just Mommies.

Several months ago I went to the baby shower of an old friend. I had recently started getting pretty bad cramps that were quite alarming to me. I just knew my endo was coming back and that was it for my dreams of being a mother. I had scheduled an appointment to discuss what was going on with Dr. E for that next week. While at the shower I got the questions. You know the ones, "When are you planning on having kids?" It was a hard day for me because not only was I at a baby shower (which is always hard for someone dealing with infertility) it had also come at a bad time personally. So I told people. I didn't say we were TTC, I just said we wanted kids but it was quite likely I would have a hysterectomy before we got the chance. I know you're probably thinking, what does this have to do with Just Mommies? I promise I'm getting there!

One of my other friends came up to me later that day and confided in me that she also had PCOS. Amazingly her and her DH had started trying the same month we did. She wasn't having any luck ovulating either. =/ Even though I'm really saddened by the idea of one of my friends going through this is was nice to have someone I could talk to. Someone who would get it. She told me about this great forum of other women who are TTC who have helped her deal with the trial of infertility. That forum is Just Mommies.

It took me a little while to get comfortable there. I had been on forums full of hormonal women before and it wasn't very pretty. Thankfully I found that their tag line was spot on, it was "the friendliest place for moms and moms-to-be!" Being able to go there and describe my CM in gruesome detail when I needed to, rant about another anovulatory cycle, or celebrate the ovulatory ones has been wonderful. I have met a great group of women, many whom I've grown close to. We are even doing a Christmas card exchange and I am quite looking forward to that. It has also helped me deal with my loss because they understand. Some of them have gone through losses of their own, and they let me know it was okay to feel the way I was thinking. That the name "chemical" didn't mean it was no big deal, it was okay for me to grieve. I don't know how I could have done it without them.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 4

4. I am thankful for Etsy.

After the loss I started looking for some way to memorialize our child. I had tossed all my HPTs since I figured I would have more with darker lines. Keeping something I've peed on kinda weirds me out anyway. It was too early for an ultrasound or for us to buy anything for the baby. I had nothing in remembrance. I thought it might be nice to have some jewelry, a bracelet or necklace, that I could wear all the time. So I posted on a TTC after loss message board asking them if they had any ideas. One of them suggested I look on Etsy as you can get some pretty cool personalized stuff there.

I have actually gotten some gifts there before and had a good experience so I decided to take a look. I found Metal Stamped Memories, a shop dedicated to memorial jewelry. Unfortunately the owner of the shop suffered her own loss and now uses her pain to make beautiful pieces for other grieving parents. You can personalize the necklaces with your own phrase and the name of your child. Our loss was too early to know the gender/pick a name, but I messaged the seller and she was more than happy to accommodate my situation and put a date instead.

A few days earlier someone on my Facebook posted this Winnie the Pooh picture and I immediately associated it with my loss. I even posted it myself without comment to the meaning I took from it. When I found out I got to pick which phrase I wanted on the necklace I knew it would be inspired by this quote.

forever in our hearts 10-21-12

The necklace arrived much quicker than I expected. I think the Etsy page said it could take two or three weeks to get here, which is reasonable for a hand crafted item such as this. I got it in 10 days! I love it and I know I will cherish this necklace for as long as I have it. I haven't taken it off since I received it yesterday and I don't plan to. I know I would never be able to get something as nice as this, for as cheap as it was, if it wasn't for Etsy. I know that this purchase has not only helped me, but also the individual who made it by providing income. I'm not a crafty person myself but I know some people who make items like this and making a living doing what you love is hard. But through Etsy I was able to help them rather than put more money in a CEO's pockets. I have been very pleased with all the interactions I've had on the site and will definitely use it in the future.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 3

3. I am thankful for Netflix and Hulu.

We don't have cable. Sometimes, when there is a show on that I really like *cough Doctor Who*, I lament this fact. It would be really convenient to just turn it to the BBC every week instead of waiting who know how long for it to show up on Netflix. But for the most part these two services meet our needs, and they are way cheaper (about 75% cheaper to be exact).

Because of Netflix and Hulu I can decide what I want to watch and when I want to watch it. I don't have to wait for a Once Upon a Time marathon to come on TV(a show my sister recently got me into), I can watch the whole first season on Netflix at my leisure. It's 4 am and I feel like watching some Chopped. Hulu to the rescue! When we stayed at a condo with cable for the weekend I realized that you can have 400 channels and there still be nothing on that you want to watch at any particular time.

We don't have a TV in our bedroom. Last year when my endo was acting up and I was pretty much on bedrest for several months things got boring fast. Thankfully you can get a remote for your computer for like $8 on Amazon, and voila I can watch whatever I want right from bed. I think I watched 6 seasons of Top Gear and I don't even care about cars!

I am really thankful for these services and will definitely miss them during the zombie apocalypse.

30 Days of Thanks: Day 2

2. I am thankful for our dog, Scotty.


I didn't want to get a dog. I had a dog as a kid and I never felt like I loved her enough. I had a real connection with one of our cats and I loved her more, but I always felt bad about that. Pets are supposed to be like your kids, right? Shouldn't you love them all the same? So I was afraid if we got a dog I wouldn't love it as much as I should.

The husby started wanting a small dog after we found a Jack Russel. Thankfully we were able to reunite it with it's owner, and I decided I definitely did not want that kind of dog. Too crazy. I eventually relented and said we could start looking for a small dog but it had to match a certain description.
A) Must have floppy ears
B) Must be house trained
C) Must be cute
D) Can't be a chihuahua

It was actually pretty difficult to find a dog like I wanted. We kept an eye out on petfinder.com and also craigslist. It seemed like small dogs were in demand and anytime we found one, it was swiftly adopted by someone else. We found one dog, I think it was also a yorkie, at the local animal control that DH really wanted to get put I panicked a little. I wasn't sure I was really ready for a pet so I asked if we could sleep on it. The next day I decided okay, we can get the dog, but unfortunately we were too late and someone else snatched him up.

Now I'm glad we were too late or we wouldn't have ended up with Scotty. He is such a good dog. He loves to play tug of war with me, and gives me kisses any time I need them. He's a great cuddle buddy when I'm having a bad day but DH is at work/school. He is soft and smells awesome when he comes back from the groomer. He likes to sleep curled up next to me. He never gives me any trouble when it's bath time, just stands there without whining or trying to get away. We took him out to a fall festival kind of thing where there were lots of people and a few other dogs and he was just perfect. He let the little kids pet him, he didn't bark at anyone, he only tried to jump on people a few times, it was honestly surprising how good he was considering we were there most of the night. I can't believe I didn't want to get him originally. I am so thankful for him now.