Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Cycle 8 CD7 - Insomnia

So yeah as you can see by the title I got AF. I actually got it the day after I posted my last post. While I'm super happy I at least ovulated, I've taken this BFN extra hard. Two friends from high school have given birth in the last few weeks, and I have two more baby showers this upcoming Sunday. It sucks because they got pregnant after we started trying and now they have their babies or are pretty close. I feel like I should be there with them, celebrating my child's birth or going to my baby shower or at least have a BFP. Instead of morning sickness I'm just nauseous from the Clomid. Sigh.

Even though I did ovulate last cycle I've gone up again to 200mg. So far I can't tell much of a difference between 150 and 200 side effect wise. I am really thankful for that. The nausea is still killer and has been keeping me up all night. My DH and I are kind of on different sleep schedules now which kind of sucks. I didn't start having hot flashes till midcycle last time and I'm hoping that will happen again. Gives this Florida heat a little more time to cool off so they are more bearable.

I've noticed the last few days I've been hungrier than usual. I think it might be because I started being serious about taking the Metformin again. I normally have a decreased appetite compared to most people so this is a good thing. It's nice to know I need to eat by hunger signs rather than just guessing based on when I ate last.

I've also started taking Evening Primrose Oil (EPO) to help increase fertile CM. On the 150mg I was a little dryer than I liked so I imagine that would be true or worse for the 200mg. I started taking 1300mg of EPO (that's how big the pills are) after dinner when I take everything else. I noticed right away that it's definitely helping. If you're ever TTC and feel like you could use some help I would highly recommend it.

Today I took my first OPK of the cycle, and it's definitely darker than I imagined it would be. Below is today's on top of last cycle's CD7 OPK for comparison. I am hoping this means I will O earlier this time! Last cycle my OPKs started getting dark and then went back to blank then got dark again so that could just be happening this cycle too. I guess we will know in a couple days. Link to my full OPK series.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Cycle 7 CD33 (13DPO) - Limbo

I'm getting this post out late as I'm still waiting for a conclusive answer either way. When I ovulated the first time I had a 12 day LP, and based on the cramps I was getting yesterday I expected AF to show up late last night or early this morning. I was surprised to wake up and find out she had postponed her visit. Took an HPT this morning and also tonight and they were both BFN. Did a little research and apparently Clomid can extend your LP by several days. One person mentioned she had a 12 day LP before and then with Clomid had a 17 day LP! So now that's what I'm expecting. If I get AF before then I will be very happy though so I can start my new cycle.

Like I briefly mentioned above my cramps have started already. Yesterday they were painful but I was mostly able to deal with it. Today they feel like AF is already here. I've had to take two of my pain pills and it still kind of hurts. So this is why I'm thinking I'm dealing with an extended LP instead of getting a late BFP. I'll continue testing just in case though. Probably only every other day from now on so I don't use up all my tests.

Symptoms So Far

Fatigue, bloating, decreased appetite, nausea, backache, tender breasts, skin break out

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Cycle 7 CD26 (6DPO) - Emotional Rollercoaster

I was hesitantly hopeful when I started this cycle. Not that I would get a BFP, just that I would ovulate. My Clomid had been upped again, I was going to do better about my Metformin, and I had started taking the correct dose of DHA. After coming off of another anovulatory cycle I was trying to stay positive.

Then I started noticing fertile CM and my OPKs were getting darker. I began to really think, "This is it! Finally after 7 months I'm going to O again!". Only I didn't. The CM dried up and the OPKs went blank. I became quite depressed. I started thinking about the fact that I can only increase the Clomid two more times.  I actually started to think, "Well at least I'll only have to go through this two more cycles and then I can just get used to the fact it won't happen." It was a terrible three days.

When my CM became fertile again and my OPKS started showing lines I didn't know what to do with myself. I thought I was excited before, but this was a whole 'nother ballgame. I cried when I looked at the positive OPK. I'm sure that has something to do with the Clomid's affect on my emotions, people shouldn't cry just because they see a +OPK. I should save those tears for the +HPT! But really, to me it was just like getting a BFP. I had hope again! Even if I don't get a BFP this cycle, I now believe there's a chance I will O again next cycle. Eventually one of those O's will turn into a BFP, right? It doesn't have to be this cycle.

Now I'm getting excited about a possible +HPT. I told myself I wouldn't, I would just be happy if I O'd, but I can't help myself. I am really trying to contain it because I don't want to fall again. I haven't ovulated enough times to know my normal progesterone symptoms, so there's no way to know if what I'm feeling is normal or not. I keep thinking about how perfect it would be - to announce it for our anniversary, to be in the second trimester during our cruise, to deliver before the heat of summer. I'm honestly pretty giddy. But I need to ground myself before I regret it.

Last night I had a dream I tested this morning and it was positive. Unfortunately it was ectopic. That crushed dream me. I shouldn't really have to say this, but when I wished for a BFP that's not what I meant, okay? I want a viable pregnancy or none at all. I was so upset by it I actually did take a test this morning, and it was negative as it should be. I don't really know much about ectopic pregnancies and how they show up on tests, but I know it takes about 3 days for a fertilized egg to travel down the fallopian tubes and then after implantation it takes 2-3 days for the HCG to build up enough to get a BFP. So I feel like to get a +HPT this early it would just about have to be ectopic. I feel better now after seeing the negative test.

I'll be testing again for real either Thursday or Saturday (maybe both). AF is due on Monday so I should know either way by my next update. Finger's crossed for me, please!

Symptoms So Far

Fatigue, skin break out, nausea, bloating,

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Cycle 7 CD19 - The Surge

Look at that OPK. Isn't it beautiful? I kind of want to print it out and hang it on the wall. I'd frame the actual OPK but I already threw it away and they fade with time anyway. Even though I know it's positive I threw it up on's gallery to see what everyone else would say. As of this writing it has 27 votes for positive and only one for negative. I am going to assume that person who voted negative just doesn't know what they are talking about. =]

Yesterday DH, my mother, and I went to visit my older sister who lives about an hour and a half away. We were there pretty much all day. She colored my hair and then we went to dinner. I didn't take any OPKs while I was there as I'm not ready to tell her we are TTC. I'm a terrible liar so I couldn't just make up another reason for taking an OPK and my pee cup into her bathroom lol. I never had an opportunity to sneak it in. By the time we left I had a terrible migraine so I didn't take one before bed either. It's possible I started surging yesterday but if so at least I didn't miss it altogether.

I talked to the nurse today and she said since I'm on such a high dose of Clomid I shouldn't have a progesterone deficiency. Honestly I'm still a little worried though since I'm not having any CD21 blood work done. I almost want to pick up some OTC cream and use it just in case. I don't know what I will do with myself if I end up having a miscarriage because of something avoidable. I'll talk with DH tonight when he gets home and see what he thinks. I don't think too much progesterone is a bad thing, but I don't want to do it without my doctor's permission and have it screw up my blood work if I do get a BFP. What if it comes back saying my progesterone is fine but that's only because of the cream?

She also said if I get a BFN Dr. E. wants me to go up to 200mg next cycle even though I did O this cycle. She wants to see me O'ing much closer to CD14, as early as CD12 if possible. I'm not sure I'll ever O that early since the highest you can go is 250mg but we'll see.

The one time I O'd before my LP was 12 or 13 days (wasn't temping so don't know exact O date) so I should know the results of this cycle by our anniversary which is the 19th. I'll probably test of the 16th if I can hold out till then. I don't have much experience being in the 2WW so I'm not sure how I'll react or how early I'll break down and test.