June Challenge - If Insurance Covered Everything

Ugh I didn't wake up today until like 4:30pm. I'm normally a late sleeper, but not that late! My right ear and throat hurt so I think I might be getting sick. =(

18. If your insurance covered infertility treatments at 100%, unlimited attempts - what would you try and for how long?

Honestly I'm not sure how far we would go if money wasn't an issue. I know that we would have moved on to more expensive treatments quite a bit sooner than we did. After the first 3 or so months of not ovulating on Clomid, or ovulating late, I would have asked for injectables. When we got to the point we had to take a break because of my endo I might have never looked into donated embryos. We might be planning on our own fresh IVF instead. In that way I'm almost glad insurance doesn't cover everything. Of course I know that our donated embryo cycle might not work, and if so I'd really be hoping insurance would cover another one! 

June Challenge - Coffee

One of my first ever Instagram pictures!

Generally I don't like coffee. It smells fantastic but tastes super gross. I'd much, much rather have tea. When I do drink coffee it has to have enough sugar, milk, chocolate, caramel, vanilla, etc to no longer taste like coffee. The only coffee drink I crave is the Java Chip Frappuccino, no whip. I even learned how to make a pretty good version myself! It's fairly simple but I try not to keep chocolate chips in the house so end up paying the money for a real one pretty often. Well, by pretty often I mean about every two months haha. My version also makes four servings which is another reason I don't make them as often. Here is the recipe I use if you want to try it for yourself!

Ingredients:
- 1 cup double strength chilled or room temperature coffee (I use Seattle's Best Level 4 because that's what Josh drinks)
- 3/4 cup cold milk
- 4 tbsp chocolate syrup
- 4 tbsp chocolate chips
- about 2 trays worth of ice, crushed
- whipped cream, optional
- more chocolate syrup for drizzle, optional

Directions:
- Put everything except the optional stuff in the blender
- Blend =D
- Pour into glasses
- Add optional stuff, if desired

June Challenge - Breakfast

This morning I had leftover fajitas for breakfast. I know that's not really a breakfast food, but I didn't really sleep last night due to my cramps and RLS. I'm hoping eventually I'll be tired to enough to pass out despite the pain. As nontraditional as it was, they were very good and I kinda wish we had some more.

Lately for breakfast I've been eating Greek yogurt (vanilla and pineapple are my fav flavors) or string cheese.  Sometimes I'll just grab a glass of chocolate milk. I usually have sausage patties in the freezer that I'll cook 10 at a time on the George Foreman grill and then eat throughout the week, but I haven't cooked any since before last weekend when I got AF. What I'd really like is pancakes, or Lucky Charms, or French toast, something delicious and carby, but I know I should save that for special occasions.

June Challenge - First Job

I think my first job was helping my uncle at his screen printing business. That would have been before I was legally allowed to work so it was under the table as they say. During the summer when he was busier I would come and help clean the paint off the screens. He paid me $10 an hour so I was more than happy to help! Sometimes one of my friends would come with me and I'd split the money with them. There was a TV with a VHS player so we could watch movies while we worked and he always had cold sodas in the mini fridge. I did this several summers in a row even after I got official jobs other places.

I remember one year I was reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in the car on the way there, and it got to the part with Umbridge's blood quill right as we reached the building. I was so upset at her for doing that to Harry I could hardly pay attention to what I was doing. I almost didn't even want to get out of the car and go in I was so mad! I wanted to keep reading and make sure she got what she deserved.

This post is part of Waiting For Baby's June Blog Challenge. You should go sign up so I can learn more about you!

June Challenge - Most Interesting Vacation

When I was in elementary school (grade four I think?) we drove all the way from our home in Florida to Maine and back. We stopped at all sorts of places on the way to and from. We went to Atlanta and got tours of some of the TV stations but The Weather Channel wouldn't let us tour their building which I was not happy about! We went to Busch Gardens and Jamestown in Virginia. Of course we had to stop and visit my first best friend in North Carolina where he had moved to in first or second grade. Gatlinburg is another place we always visit if we get the chance. We went to Philadelphia and I touched the Liberty Bell even though they told us not to. It was so surreal seeing all the historical sites and standing where the founding fathers stood. We went to Washington D.C. and visited the Smithsonian museums. Either Felicia or I (can't remember) got in trouble for getting too close to the Hope Diamond. We saw cranberry bogs in Massachusetts which I thought was really neat. We briefly visited Boston but I wasn't impressed. It was October so we took part in the Halloween celebrations in Salem. In one haunted house the attendant told me if I didn't want monsters to jump out at me I was supposed to say... something. I can't remember exactly, but he told me this knowing it wouldn't work and they'd be extra scary! I absolutely fell in love with Plymouth and would consider moving there. We went to New York and saw all the stuff there: Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building, World Trade Center, etc. When we got to Maine we went whale watching and visited the desert which had fake camels in it. We did so much stuff it would take forever to write it all down, and my drug addled brain just can't deal with that right now lol. It was a nice mix of fun things and educational and I'm so thankful my parents made the effort to take us on this trip even though we never had much money. It was very fast paced and I much prefer my vacations to go slower, but if we hadn't moved so fast I would have missed out on a lot. Even with how fast we went through everywhere we were gone for several weeks. Unfortunately I don't have any digital pictures as this was before Facebook and all that, and I'm not sure where the hard copy photo album is either. It was definitely a once in a lifetime kind of thing for us and I would love to someday take our children on a similar trip.

This post is part of Waiting For Baby's June Blog Challenge. You should go sign up so I can learn more about you!

June Challenge - Perfect Anniversary

I'm honestly not sure what the perfect anniversary would be. Perhaps going to our favorite Chinese place for mongolian barbecue. Then go see a movie at the theater where you can lift up the arm rests and cuddle. Get Blizzards from Dairy Queen on the way home for dessert and then play a video game together. As you can probably see I'm not a super romantic person lol. I just like spending time with him.

June Challenge - Catching Up

I haven't been feeling up to making a blog post the last few days so I'm running behind!

10. How do you help get yourself (and or SO) get in the mood to DTD during the fertile period?

Well isn't this an embarrassing questions lol! Even though I have a TTC blog talking about our sex lives in detail isn't something I'm particularly comfortable with. The short answer is that problem kinda worked itself out given enough time. 

11. Describe your wedding.

We didn't have a wedding ceremony. My then FH needed surgery, he was on his dad's insurance the last time he was able to sign up for insurance at work so he didn't but by then his dad's was expired. The only way to get on his work insurance was to have a major life event like getting married, so we decided to get legally married a year earlier than we had planned. I called up our officiant (my friend's dad, actually Dr. E's husband) and told him what was going on so he told us to come by after work. I texted Josh to let him know we were getting married that evening. =D We needed witnesses so I asked my mom and older sister Felicia to come (Sierra was on visitation with our dad), and they called my cousin Tristan and his sometimes girlfriend who also came. DH's work then fired him like 3 days before his insurance was to take affect so we had to spend our wedding money on his surgery. We plan on having the ceremony we had planned out eventually but since then the money was always needed elsewhere. I still have all the wording saved in a Google Doc and I love it as much as I did in 2009.  

June Challenge - TTC Support from DH

Josh has been very supportive during our TTC journey. In fact, I think he's more impatient right now to get the embryo donation stuff started than I am! He would go to doctor appointments with me if he could, he rarely complained about TI or me buying supplements/OPKs/etc. I think our loss hurt him just as much as it did me. He was a POAS Pusher lol! The only conflict we had was he didn't want biological children and I did. Since we didn't know much about embryo donation at the time, he thought there was no way we could pursue adoption right now anyway and was supportive of my desire to carry children even if he thought having biological ones was more irresponsible. Now we have reached the perfect compromise.

June Challenge - SAHM

I can definitely see myself being a stay at home mom. My mother stayed home with us and I definitely appreciated having her around. If I wasn't a SAHM I'd consider being a work at home mom before I would having a job outside of the home, especially when they are younger. I can potentially help with some of Josh's graphic design stuff which I would be able to do from home. I worked in daycare for a while before my endo got too bad so I could also potentially start a home daycare as well. Those are just back-up plans though in case we need the money. There is a very good chance I will homeschool our kids and that would be much harder to do while working.

June Challenge - Labor: Drugs or no drugs?

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I won't make any firm plans until I get to that point and see what it's like, but my guess is probably. I've read that having chronic pain actually decreases pain tolerance over time so while I'm not totally thrilled with the possibility of drugs, I'm definitely open to using them. I would like to try some of the other techniques first, but I don't have any faith they will work. I've tried many of the options they suggest during my cramps and they didn't do a lick of good. Vocalization, breathing techniques, visualization, none of it has worked for me. Taking a hot shower or bath helps some but not nearly enough to use by itself without drugs. Same with massages. According to a woman who has cramps similar to mine, labor was actually less painful so if that turns out to be true for me maybe those things will be more helpful.

What I'm worried about more than pain management is being induced. I do not want to be induced unless they can convince me it is absolutely necessary. In fact, I'd almost rather just get a c-section if they want to induce me. Your chance of c-section goes up so much when you're induced, might as well skip all the extra pain and possible decreased fetal heart rate and stuff. Also there is a chance if I get a c-section I could get a hysterectomy at the same time so two birds with one stone. Having a c-section/hysterectomy combo might even make recovery easier as my uterus won't need to recover.

This post is part of Waiting For Baby's June Blog Challenge. You should go sign up so I can learn more about you!

June Challenge - Kid's Names

If I thought of names for my kids when I was little, I don't remember what they are. The first name I remember liking enough to name my progeny after was in highschool. I was a huge, huge Harry Potter nerd back then (and still am!). I went to Wizard Rock shows, book and movie premieres, read fanfiction, the whole nine yards. One of my favorite fanfiction series is The Draco Trilogy by Cassandra Clare. That name might sound familiar, as she has gone on to be a best selling author of The Mortal Instruments series which is being turned into a movie this August. Over the time I spent reading the fanfics I saw her name quite often and began to grow fond of it. I love Cassandra because it sounds kind of classy and has so many nickname options. She could be Cassie, Sandra, Sandy, etc. Whatever she wanted. This is still one of my potential girl names, with the middle name Siobhan (pronounced shiv-awn). 

Another name I decided on in highschool is due to another author, but from one of his character rather than his actual name. I love Peter S. Beagle, in fact I consider him my favorite author. You probably know him because of The Last Unicorn. One of my favorite books by him is the story of a young girl who moves to an old house with her mother and new step-family. There she meets a ghost cat and eventually the ghost cat's ghost owner and there's a mystery and it's wonderful. Her name is Tamsin.

I love the name Tamsin because it's interesting and uncommon without sounding silly. I have never met someone named Tamsin IRL so I can be reasonably sure there won't be another one in her class or workplace. I was drawn to this name in a way similar to Cassandra. This is also currently one of my potential names, with the middle name Ceilidh (pronounced  kay-lee).

Boy names I'm less sure of. One of the names I used to love is Illidan, aka Illidan Stomrage the Warcraft boss. Yes I'm a nerd, I admit it. I still like the name but I don't love it love it like I used to. It's probably too out there even if he could go by Dan for short. Plus I'm not sure if being named after a WoW character would impress the other boys or lead to taunting. Even some of my own friends laughed when I mentioned it so it's tabled for now.

A name I'm really liking at the moment is Roran which would be shorted to Rory. I first started liking the name Roran after reading the Eragon books by Christopher Paolini. Noticing a theme yet? Of course now Rory is one of the best Doctor Who companions of the new series (imo), but I liked the name before he was introduced. Unfortunately Josh isn't quite as sure about it as I am so we might have to keep looking.

My mother desperately wants a grandchild named Liam. I like the name fine, but again Josh says no. Spoilsport. 

One name we have tentatively agreed on is Erik. He likes it because of Erik the Red and I like it because of Phantom of the Opera. It's not set in stone though.

This post is part of Waiting For Baby's June Blog Challenge. You should go sign up so I can learn more about you!

June Challenge - Pets

I've mentioned on here before that we have one furbaby, Scotty. He is a two year old yorkie that we love to pieces even if he's not good all the time. I mean you can't stay mad at that face!

Before we got him Josh would ask if we could get a small dog every once in awhile and I would say no. I did not want a dog. I had a dog when I was a kid and I always felt guilty because I didn't think I loved her enough. I didn't want to feel that way again, and pets are extra work and expense that I wasn't sure would be worth it. Finally I told Josh okay if this is really that important to you we will start looking, but ultimately if I'm not comfortable with it we won't get one. In February 2012 we went to look at a dog at a shelter. He was cute but I just wasn't sure. Josh wanted to get him but I needed time to think. I didn't want to make a rush decision or feel pressured to make such a commitment. I said I'd sleep on it. The next morning he was already adopted by someone else, so we kept looking.

In June someone posted an add on Craigslist that they needed to rehome Scotty. They had been watching him for a friend who had moved and wasn't able to take him with them. They already had several much bigger dogs and couldn't give him the love and attention he needed. I told Josh we could go see him, but didn't make any promises. We got there and he immediately took to us. He was so cute and excited and jumped into my arms. I could tell Josh really wanted him so I said okay, as I was scared the same thing would happen as last time and he would be gone if we hesitated. We opened the car door and he jumped in like he was already ours. He loved us from the very beginning so we loved him.

Now I can't believe I ever doubted if he was the dog for us, and trust me I still hear about that! If I go to cuddle with him and he's next to Josh sometimes he will hold him tighter and whisper, "you're my doggy, Mommy didn't even want you..." and I just roll my eyes. Of course that works the other way too, if he's scratching at the door to get out in the morning I use that as an opportunity to remind Josh whose dog it is. =D

Now here are a bunch of pictures of his cuteness!

His pirate Halloween outfit

Me and him at the pumpkin carving.

I Halloweenified him using the G+ picture tools.

He likes to sit in the window like a cat.

Go home Scotty, you're drunk.

Cute lacey black hat.

If you can't tell he's basically folded in half.

Him with my sister Felicia.

My sister Sierra put him in the baby swing.

June Challenge - Favorite Snack

Hmm... This one is a head scratcher. I've already written one post about my love of bread, so no point doing another. Since I'm not even supposed to be eating a lot of bread right now there must be something that's become my new favorite...

An oldie but a goodie is my love of pickles. I love most pickles other than bread and butter and sweet pickles. Blech! My absolute favorite brand is Claussen but it's a bit too expensive to sustain my pickle habit so we save that for special occasions or get it on sale. My next favorite, surprisingly enough, is the Great Value aka Walmart brand. Those are the ones we keep on hand.

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We usually have at least one jar of the hamburger chips as those are the most versatile. Second comes spears (which taste great wrapped in a slice of deli turkey). The whole ones are also great, especially the ones in the smaller jars. As my sister Sierra points out to me often, smaller jars mean smaller whole pickles. Smaller pickles are easier to eat. Unfortunately for me Sierra also loves pickles and will often eat all of mine!

Once we went to Walmart and they didn't have any of the store brand. It was sad but I used it as an excuse to get Claussen. We came back a week or two later and they still didn't have any. At this point I started to get worried. Trip after trip was made to no avail. Finally I had to suck it up and get the inferior Mt. Olive. They eventually did get some more in, and now I'm kind of like a hoarder. I'm always afraid they'll be gone next time so I get like five or six jars at a time. Josh finds this very amusing.

This post is part of Waiting For Baby's June Blog Challenge. You should go sign up so I can learn more about you!

June Challenge - Biggest Indulgence

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I love bread. I'm not proud of it, but it's true. Give me a roll from Golden Corral and I am in heaven! I could probably go there and eat only rolls and come away happy. There are very few things that make me as happy as a good piece of bread. Possibly none. This is not a very good thing for someone who should be low carb! I also love the King's Hawaiian rolls, french bread, the bread they serve at McGuire's (I think it's pumpernickel), soda bread, banana bread (no nuts please), pretty much any kind of bread. I used to go grab a slice or two of whatever sandwich bread we had in the house and eat that as a snack. No butter, jam, peanut butter, anything; just bread. I like to tear the crust off and eat that first, then condense the rest into a little ball. I don't know why or how I got started doing it but in my mind it tastes different I guess. I wish I could go eat a whole loaf of french bread right now!

This post is part of Waiting For Baby's June Blog Challenge. You should go sign up so I can learn more about you!

June Challenge - Dream Car

♪ Wentworth & Gizmo, best friends forever. Bothwere gonna get traded in so they drove away together. ♪

My first and only car was a 1998 Mazda Protege I named Wentworth (literally village of the white people). He was originally my sister's car but I took over payments when she got a new one. He had a standard transmission which I did not like but otherwise he was a very good car. He got me where I needed to go and had very decent gas milage.

Unfortunately he had an accident, and a truck poked one of his eyes out. He also had plenty of dents because people liked to run into him while I was parked (often in class, once taking the Mother's Day picture I posted in my last post). 

His best friend was my friend Sam's car Gizmo. They'd hang out in the parking lot and sometimes have sleepovers. He was very sad when Gizmo got traded in and unfortunately it was his time to go not long after that. He had like a million miles on him and was just spending too much time at the mechanic. Since I've been on so much pain medication the last few years I never bothered getting a new car. When I do get another one I would definitely consider another Mazda, but they stopped making the Protege in 2003 so it would probably be a different model. I would also get an automatic for sure.

Can't tell if it's Wentworth or Gizmo in this picture.

As far as dream cars go, I don't really have one. Maybe a Google Car? Then I wouldn't have to drive myself which would be pretty nifty. My only other thought is a car with non-standard doors. Like perhaps a Koenigsegg or the classic Delorean. 

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This post is part of Waiting For Baby's June Blog Challenge. You should go sign up so I can learn more about you!

June Challenge - Family Story

Dad and Mom

To put it simply I've never had a good relationship with my dad. The picture above is the only one I could find of my mom and dad together. I'm not sure how and where they met, but I know it was when my mom was 17. On her 18th birthday my grandparents basically packed her bags and told her she was an adult now so she needed to go live with her boyfriend. They were married less than a year later, and my older sister Felicia was born two months before her 20th birthday. I was born about two years later.

Felicia and Me

A few years after that my cousin Tristan was born. I don't remember how old my aunt was then but she was pretty young, I think still in highschool. My mom watched him a lot and quite a few people thought he was our brother. In fact only a few years ago I ran into someone we used to go to church with and they asked how my brother was. I've always been closer to him than any of my other cousins.

Grandpa, Tristan, Me, and Felicia

In third grade I got expelled (long story) and switched schools, where I met my two best friends Jessica and Sheila. I'm not close to Sheila anymore but I still consider Jessica to be like family. She is my sister in spirit if not genetics.

Me, Jessica, and Sheila around grade seven

When I was in fifth grade my little sister Sierra was born. I was not very happy when my parents told us my mom was pregnant. I may or may not have had a tantrum in the middle of Arby's. I was scared of not being "the baby" anymore. After she was born though everything changed. She is what made me realize I wanted to be a mom. Our mother was very ill for a long time after she was born and I took an active role in raising her. I remember when she was a baby trying to comfort her when my parents would fight. My mother still lets me participate in important conversations with her like about bullying and stuff.

Me and Sierra at the park

Rescuing Sierra after she stuck her head in a chair

Sierra and I playing after our friend's wedding

Mother's Day picture a few years back. I swear Felicia told me to drop Sierra and not "pretend to drop" her.

Felicia and me last year

Grandma, Grandpa, Felicia, Richard, Mom, Me, and Sierra and Felicia's wedding

Tristan, his (sometimes) girlfriend, Felicia, and Richard

Tristan trying to act suave 

Felicia, Sierra, and Jessica (and me in the background) at Jessica's wedding

Josh, Me, Mom, and Sierra

Okay I guess that's enough pictures now haha. As far as what Josh and I want for our family in the future, we'll take what we can get. Originally I wanted an even number of kids, two or four. Josh vetoed four pretty quickly and is more in line with the "they can't outnumber us" kind of thinking. I'd still rather have two than one, but one is better than none. Right now I'd say twins would be great so we won't have to go through this hassle again, but I might regret saying that when I end up with two newborns. If this embryo adoption thing falls through I know we will continue working towards adding to our family one way or another.

This post is part of Waiting For Baby's June Blog Challenge. You should go sign up so I can learn more about you!

Waiting For Baby June Blog Challenge

Waiting For Baby is having a June Blog Challenge! I tried to do 30 Days of Thanks last November and kind of sucked at it, but I'm going to attempt this anyway. Here are the daily prompts:

1.Family story - how did your parents meet, how many brothers/sisters, tell us what you want. 
2. What do you drive? What is your dream car?
3. Biggest indulgence
4. Favorite snack?
5. Do you have any pets?
6. Name you picked out for your kids when you were younger. Bonus: share any name ideas you have now
7. You're in labor: drugs or no drugs. Why?
8. If you had a choice - SAHM?
9. How supportive is your SO in your TTC journey?
10. How do you help get yourself (and or SO) get in the mood to DTD during the fertile period?
11. Describe your wedding.
12. Perfect anniversary - describe it.
13. What's the most interesting vacation you have been on?
14. First job
15. First love
16. What did you have for breakfast today? What do you normally have?
17. Do you drink coffee? Cream/sugar/how do you drink your coffee?
18. If your insurance covered infertility treatments at 100%, unlimited attempts - what would you try and for how long?
19. What's your advice for parenting an adopted child?
20. What sounds reasonable in an open adoption - I.e. how much contact is do-able?
21. Tell me about a TTC blog I don't have on my blog roll - why should I go visit? (No preggos please)
22. What's your favorite children's book?
23. If you had 100,000 that had to be donated to charity what would you do with it?
24. What's your biggest fear about becoming a mom?
25. Describe the contents of your purse. What kind of purse do you have?
26. If you could give advice to a newbie infertile, what would it be?
27. When you were younger, what job(s) did you want to have?
28. Do you speak any other languages? When do you think a child should learn a new language?
29. Tell me the highlights of your college years.
30. What's one thing in your closet you wear when you have a nice occasion? Interpret that as a date night or important job event.

 If you would like to participate hop on over to her blog and let her know!