Crash and Burn

For a while now Dobby (the poodle mix) has needed grooming. Not for aesthetic reasons, but practical ones. He keeps bringing in wildflower seeds all over his coat that I then have to clean off. Unfortunately we don't have the money to get either dog groomed at the moment. Even if getting them groomed wasn't going to keep us from getting groceries I'd feel pretty crappy about paying for it when we're asking people for money. So a couple of months ago I got a dog grooming kit from amazon that was highly rated but not super expensive so I could attempt to do it myself. I've done it twice previously with acceptable results.

I've been putting it off for about a week now because I just don't feel good. My knee still isn't better, I'm constantly exhausted, my endo started flaring, etc. Yesterday I came to the conclusion that I couldn't keep putting it off because things weren't going to get better. His hair would be so long he'd be blind and tripping over it before I felt up to it. So I decided to suck it up and do it.

The problem is, you can't just pull out the clippers and do as much as you can, stop, and do the rest later. In order to keep the clippers from getting dull (and then buying new ones) you have to give him a bath immediately before hand and dry him with a blow dryer. If he does anything that might get "foreign particles" (aka dirt) on his fur like going outside you have to start over.

So I used up quite a few spoons doing all that. He wasn't being cooperative when it came to his feet which sucks because that's where the majority of seeds stick too. I'm sure it didn't help that he could tell I was frustrated and tired and in pain. Eventually I just... crashed. I don't know how to word it other than that. I told my husband I blue screened. I got dizzy, light headed, nauseous, the works all of a sudden. I just barely managed to call Josh on speaker phone and say "help" before things started going black. Or actually gray, because things don't usually go black when I start to pass out. I know he came and helped me to the couch but I don't really remember it.


Approximately several minutes later I was able to sit up and take Lupin's advice, eating a fun size KitKat left over from Halloween on the end table. It did help. I don't think my blood sugar was low, but it's not outside the realm of possibilities. I was definitely in a spoon deficit the rest of the day. Poor Dobby looks all mangy from being half groomed but I'm not even going to try and fix it for a while. Now I'm back in bed for who even knows how long. Whenever I wash the dogs I wear my swim suit so I don't worry about getting my clothes wet, and I'm still in it now. Eventually maybe I'll put on pajamas instead...

Man Plans and God Laughs

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The picture isn't really related, but I thought it was funny and couldn't find one that was related that I liked as much. Last week I talked about my plans for the next couple of weeks, then promptly got sick and didn't do anything. Josh went to the doctor and they said he had a sinus infection. I didn't go to the doctor because I don't need excuses for work/school like he does, but I figure I had something similar and suspect I've developed bronchitis (which I have a history of). I planned to talk to the doctor at my blood work appointment yesterday but she wasn't in yet, just the nurses. There have been a few times I really could have used an inhaler but I've been managing okay with over the counter stuff and lots of cough drops. If I haven't noticed a pretty big improvement by my appointment next week it's definitely something I'll bring up, but other than getting an inhaler there's not much a doctor can do anyway.

So we didn't do anything for Josh's birthday, we didn't do anything for Valentine's Day, and we couldn't go visit my friend for her birthday. I figured out yesterday I've known her for 18 years! That is so crazy. There are people in the military who were born after we met. That's 69% of my life. I don't feel old enough to have known someone that long. I'm blessed to still have her in my life even if we can't spend as much time together as I'd like.

Early early yesterday morning (like 3am) I started having a LOT of pain. It felt like it does during the heaviest part of my period. I didn't even know if I was going to make it to my blood work appointment. TMI for a second: I haven't had anything more than spotting, but a lot of CM so I feel like my body is trying to have AF but there just isn't any lining to shed. That's good because there's not supposed to be. Yesterday was CD42 and when I started bleeding last time it was 35 days after my lupron shot so it's been about the same amount of time. It's really weird because I've never been this "regular" in my life without the help of provera. Anyway the good news is because I was in so much pelvic pain I could hardly feel it when they stuck me three times and dug around for a good while each time before getting all the blood they needed.

If you follow my Facebook Page or my Instagram (which you should) you've seen already that I've started doing something I'm calling puppywearing. It's like babywearing, but with puppies. Our dogs, Dobby especially, love to be held when I'm at the computer. Dobby likes it when you cradle him like a baby. If most poodles are like him I can understand how they got a reputation for being spoiled! I don't actually own a wrap or sling or carrier and can't really justify the purchase, but as long as I'm sitting down zipping him up in my hoodie and tucking the bottom under him seems to work pretty well. The other day he fell asleep that way and it was so cute! If this makes me one of those crazy people who try to turn their pets into children because their desire to mother is so strong then I'm okay with that.

The Spoonie Olympics

I'm sure everyone knows that the Olympics are taking place right now. I feel like I'm competing in the Olympics myself, only instead of a gold medal doing well means surviving until the finish line.

For those not aware, people who have chronic (often invisible) conditions are called spoonies in reference to the Spoon Theory. The basic idea is that everyone has a certain number of spoons. Every action you take uses up a spoon, until you have none left and are stuck in bed unable to do anything. Healthy people usually have enough spoons to not worry about it, but sick people have a severe lack of spoons and have to use each one wisley.

February is always a busy month around here. I wrote in my last post about attempting to start being more active by using my peddle exerciser and learning I wasn't up to that yet. This was the beginning of a chain reaction and an even bigger mistake than I thought because I had no time to recover. That was on a Tuesday. Thursday I had a therapy appointment that took a lot out of me. I had to come home and take a four hour nap and didn't get out of bed much the rest of the day or Friday.

Saturday was Little Sister's birthday and birthday party. Thankfully her birthday fell on a Saturday so we didn't need to celebrate twice. I have mentioned being anxious about this but overall it went better than expected. I'm not sure everyone realizes, but those with chronic conditions learn how to fake it. There were moments when the facade came down and I grimaced and such, there were times when I took a moment to myself, but I don't like calling attention to my illness and I think I was successful. My friend J's son was there and he wanted to go play Candy Land in a back room right at the time I needed to get away which was perfect. My friend R and I worked out a hand signal in case I needed to leave but we ended up not needing it. I had to bring out the big guns pain med wise but I have been saving the few I have left for situations such as these. There were enough people there that I spent very little time around my older sister or her DuH so that worked out great. Afterwards I slept for over 14 hours and am still recovering.

Today is my husband's birthday. We are going out to dinner tomorrow as he has a late meeting today, but not to anywhere fancy. Friday is of course Valentine's Day. I don't think we are planning to go out anywhere but I got us subscriptions to Star Wars: The Old Republic and I know he will want to play together as much as I am able. We have played a bit together already and I can tell my reaction times are suffering. As a healer that can be a bit problematic and stressful, but he understands and isn't angry when he dies. I think I'm harder on myself in that regard.

A week from today is my friend J's birthday. They live about two hours away so we plan to meet halfway on Sunday and go to dinner at McGuire's which is one of our favorite places. Traveling is hard for me so I expect I'll need a lot of time to recover from that. R's birthday is the 26th and normally I'd like to get together and do something but I know she won't expect me to if I can't. My BIL's birthday is around there too but I refuse to celebrate it anyway.

I also have three doctor appointments, one on the 18th, one of the 25th, and one on the 3rd. I need to call and reschedule one I had to miss so that could be four doctor appointments depending on when they can get me in. My second Lupron shot should be around the beginning of March as well but I don't have an appointment, they are just going to call when it comes in. My birthday is the 6th and I have no idea what we are going to do for it. Possibly nothing more than cake at home if I'm not well enough to do anything else.

Thankfully that's it for a while. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so after all I've been through I should be strong enough to get through everything. My goal is to not be completely bedridden again by the end of it, but I think it's definitely a possibility. We will see if I have enough spoons for this. Funnily enough, our dog Dobby found a plastic spoon and was attempting to eat it while I was writing. No spoons for you, I need all the ones I can get!

Introducing Dobby

Dobby is our new four-ish year old probably shih tzu poodle mix. We weren't looking for another dog, in fact we didn't even want another dog, but he found us.

On Halloween I was outside taking some reference pictures for my nano story when I saw him in the empty lot across from our house. I think I've seen him once before, maybe a few weeks ago maybe a few months ago, my brain doesn't like to remember silly stuff like that. A woman from down the street and I tried to catch him then to hopefully return him to his family but he wouldn't get close to us. He wouldn't let me approach him on Halloween either, even when I tried to give him a treat. I brought Scotty outside on his leash to let them sniff each other and that let me get close enough to check for a collar. He had one but it didn't have a tag, was tight, looked pretty weathered, and I think was actually a cat collar. It didn't matter though because now I was close enough to see how messed up his fur was.

So I decided to take him inside and clean him up. It's funny because just as I was opening the door Josh and my mom pulled up and saw me taking a random dog inside. I know they were thinking, "Oh my, Tasha's finally lost it..." I explained the situation though and they understood. He had so much crap stuck in his fur, it was ridiculous! Sandspurs, hitchhikers, and some kind of small, thin, pointy, black seeds that I don't know the name for. Not to mention the dirt and matted hair and how skinny he was. I immediately took him into the bathroom to give him a bath. Once he was wet my sister Sierra and I got to work picking all the stuff out. At this point I noticed he had some kind of sore on one of his ears and the end of his tail was broken.

After spending I don't know how much time doing that we gave up, the rest was too stuck in there to pick out. We dried him off and Josh came in with the scissors from his electric trimmer kit thing and started cutting out the rest. This whole thing took hours. While he was doing that I posted about finding him on Facebook and started searching for someone missing a dog of his description. Couldn't find anything so we decided to take him to the vet the next day to get him looked over and checked for a chip.  

Turns out he did have a chip. The registered owner lives several states away, but her daughter took him to Florida, and then her daughter (so original's granddaughter) was the one who lost him. We soon found out "lost" was not an accurate description. They only live one street over from us and were just neglecting him.

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Since we knew who the owners were we couldn't legally just keep him but I wasn't going to give him back to them either. Animal Control said we had to bring him to them. I have never in my life surrendered a dog and this was very, very hard on me. My mom and Josh took him up Saturday morning (that's my mom's leg in the picture they later posted on their website) and they said if the owners didn't pick him up we could come back and get him on Wednesday. They would be investigating the owners to make sure they were fit to take him back.

Well Wednesday got here and Animal Control changed their mind. They were giving the original owners from several states away till Saturday to come get him. The sucky thing is they are closed on Sunday and Monday so we wouldn't be able to pick him up until Tuesday. I about had a nervous breakdown at this point thinking of him stuck in a cage not being loved the way he deserves for so long. They wouldn't let us get him on Tuesday either for some reason I can't remember, but finally on Wednesday the 13th we officially adopted him and took him home.

It's not easy living with him and I can tell it wasn't easy for the previous owners either. However almost if not all of his problems stem from not being fixed or groomed. He marks all the time and escaped out of our backyard (something Scotty's never done) to elope with a chihuahua down at the park. But that's not his fault. Instead of just getting exasperated and not taking care of him we've taken measures to make it easier for all of us. 

The first thing we did after adopting him was make an appointment to get him neutered. Unfortunately the first one the vet had available was December 2nd. In the meantime we got him some belly bands and are basically cloth diapering lol. I can tell you after this I really don't think cloth diapering is for me and will stick to disposables if we ever get our take home baby. We've tried to shore up the backyard so he won't be able to get out anymore, but until he gets fixed he doesn't go out without a leash just in case. Scotty was in need of a haircut anyway so they both went to the groomer. Now things won't be able to get stuck in his hair so easily. 

Scotty loves having another little dog to play with. We play with him as much as we can and he has toys but I guess it just doesn't compare to another dog. They both seem really happy to have each other. It didn't take long at all for them to become best friends.

Action shot as Dobby jumps on Scotty.

Originally he was going to be Sierra's dog since her dog Frito is getting on in years, but I don't think either of them would like to be separated.

He's so sweet and craves attention and cuddles. Scotty will cuddle with you sometimes, but he rarely seeks it out. Dobby needs to be held and loved on which makes me even more disgusted with his previous owners for treating him so poorly. For the first few days after we got him back he would whine anytime someone would leave the room because he wanted them there with him. Thankfully it seems like he knows he's part of the family and we'll always come back now so he doesn't do it as much. He appears extremely happy to be here with us and I love seeing the big smiles on his face.