Tuesday, February 11, 2014

The Spoonie Olympics

I'm sure everyone knows that the Olympics are taking place right now. I feel like I'm competing in the Olympics myself, only instead of a gold medal doing well means surviving until the finish line.

For those not aware, people who have chronic (often invisible) conditions are called spoonies in reference to the Spoon Theory. The basic idea is that everyone has a certain number of spoons. Every action you take uses up a spoon, until you have none left and are stuck in bed unable to do anything. Healthy people usually have enough spoons to not worry about it, but sick people have a severe lack of spoons and have to use each one wisley.

February is always a busy month around here. I wrote in my last post about attempting to start being more active by using my peddle exerciser and learning I wasn't up to that yet. This was the beginning of a chain reaction and an even bigger mistake than I thought because I had no time to recover. That was on a Tuesday. Thursday I had a therapy appointment that took a lot out of me. I had to come home and take a four hour nap and didn't get out of bed much the rest of the day or Friday.

Saturday was Little Sister's birthday and birthday party. Thankfully her birthday fell on a Saturday so we didn't need to celebrate twice. I have mentioned being anxious about this but overall it went better than expected. I'm not sure everyone realizes, but those with chronic conditions learn how to fake it. There were moments when the facade came down and I grimaced and such, there were times when I took a moment to myself, but I don't like calling attention to my illness and I think I was successful. My friend J's son was there and he wanted to go play Candy Land in a back room right at the time I needed to get away which was perfect. My friend R and I worked out a hand signal in case I needed to leave but we ended up not needing it. I had to bring out the big guns pain med wise but I have been saving the few I have left for situations such as these. There were enough people there that I spent very little time around my older sister or her DuH so that worked out great. Afterwards I slept for over 14 hours and am still recovering.

Today is my husband's birthday. We are going out to dinner tomorrow as he has a late meeting today, but not to anywhere fancy. Friday is of course Valentine's Day. I don't think we are planning to go out anywhere but I got us subscriptions to Star Wars: The Old Republic and I know he will want to play together as much as I am able. We have played a bit together already and I can tell my reaction times are suffering. As a healer that can be a bit problematic and stressful, but he understands and isn't angry when he dies. I think I'm harder on myself in that regard.

A week from today is my friend J's birthday. They live about two hours away so we plan to meet halfway on Sunday and go to dinner at McGuire's which is one of our favorite places. Traveling is hard for me so I expect I'll need a lot of time to recover from that. R's birthday is the 26th and normally I'd like to get together and do something but I know she won't expect me to if I can't. My BIL's birthday is around there too but I refuse to celebrate it anyway.

I also have three doctor appointments, one on the 18th, one of the 25th, and one on the 3rd. I need to call and reschedule one I had to miss so that could be four doctor appointments depending on when they can get me in. My second Lupron shot should be around the beginning of March as well but I don't have an appointment, they are just going to call when it comes in. My birthday is the 6th and I have no idea what we are going to do for it. Possibly nothing more than cake at home if I'm not well enough to do anything else.

Thankfully that's it for a while. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so after all I've been through I should be strong enough to get through everything. My goal is to not be completely bedridden again by the end of it, but I think it's definitely a possibility. We will see if I have enough spoons for this. Funnily enough, our dog Dobby found a plastic spoon and was attempting to eat it while I was writing. No spoons for you, I need all the ones I can get!

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