Monday, July 29, 2013

Punday 7/29

I am guest posting Punday at Baby Makin' while Aislinn is out of town, so click over for even more punny goodness!

Saturday, July 27, 2013

From Left To Write: The Execution of Noa P. Singleton by Elizabeth L. Silver

In tenth grade I was questioned by the secret service and local police about threatening to kill the president. This is a true story. 

I like to think I was a good kid and still am a decent adult. I got A's in school, never got detention, didn't really go through a rebellious phase as a teenager (I got that over with as a preschooler). For the most part I follow the law except for a particular stop sign where I usually only yield. I may have pirated a few things. I'm not a violent person, I rarely got in trouble, and when I did it was over something small. So of course everyone was pretty shocked when the secret service showed up at my house. 

I was in the marching band all through highschool but other than that I was homeschooled. We lost our band director, and our replacement was literally right out of college. He was supposed to be the assistant band director and looking back now I don't really blame him for being a giant jerk face. He didn't know what he was doing and I know it must have been difficult trying to get us to respect someone only a few years older than us. He went the dictator route and made our lives miserable. 

We had a club just for band students that did fundraising and put on a Christmas party every year and probably other stuff I don't remember. The year we got the new band director was the year I was supposed to be initiated into the club but everything sort of fell apart. I noticed it was getting kind of late in the year and we hadn't had any meetings or anything. I wouldn't say I'm a natural leader but if I notice no one is leading or the leader is doing a sucky job I feel compelled to step up. So I started questioning those who I knew were in the club the year before. Nobody even knew who the officers were. I decided well, I'll just throw new elections! I was never really in a school club before (homeschooled) so I was kind of like our new band director in that I didn't really know what I was doing. But I got people to come to a meeting and hold elections, even if it made the band director upset because I didn't do it "right". It was very important to me to have the annual Christmas party to try and lift spirits and maintain a sense of normalcy. I orchestrated a fundraiser of a handful of us playing Christmas music outside Walmart pretty much by myself. Apparently before you do a fundraiser like that there's all this red tape you have to go through that I didn't know about, so again I'm on the band directors bad side. I'm a pest who just won't leave well enough alone. 

The problem is it wasn't just the band director, it was the Band Booster president too. Band Boosters are kind of like the PTA for band I guess? Anyway she didn't like me. I was trying to make things as nice and normal for everyone as I could and wasn't afraid to speak up about it if I thought something should change. One day when we were practising for the Christmas concert this got me in trouble. I can't remember exactly what happened, but she asked us to do something I thought we shouldn't have to do. Everyone was really irritated about it. I went to her and conveyed everyone's feelings as respectfully as I could and asked if we could come up with another solution. She was... not very nice about it. What does this have to do with the secret service? I promise I'm getting to that!

I went home and that night or the next day I vented about it on my Xanga (an old social networking site). I didn't use any bad language, I didn't make any threats, I was just frustrated. Apparently somehow her psycho daughter found out about it. A day or so later I was instant messaging a friend who somehow found out said psycho daughter was on her way to my house with two or three big dudes to basically make me regret my words. I quickly went around making sure all the doors and windows were locked before they got there. When they did I told them to leave through the door. Instead she pounded on the door yelling obscenities. I called the police.  

A few days after that I see a black Lincoln with patriotic vanity plates pull up in the driveway. Some very serious looking dudes got out and knocked on the door. I didn't know if it was the police following up on what happened or what. Turns out it was the police but they weren't there about that, and the secret service was with them. You can't imagine my shock when they introduced themselves, said they wanted to ask me some questions, and told me to call my parents which weren't home at the time. That was an awkward phone call. I pretty much started crying immediately. 

They got a tip that I was making threats against the POTUS and came to check it out. The "threat" in question was posted on my Xanga way in the spring. My friends had been making bucket lists and I had written a clearly marked mock list of my own. One of the things on the list was assassinate a presidential candidate. It was accompanied by 29 other outrageous things like marry a hippo and was obviously a joke. This was 2004 and that summer (after making this list) I attended W's local rally and didn't cause any problems. Still they came, questioned me, searched my house, my computer, and made it clear they don't find such jokes funny. I was told I could be charged with a felony. It was incredibly scary. Thankfully I wasn't charged with anything as they decided I wasn't a threat but I'm sure my name is still on a list somewhere. Sometimes I'll look up at the sky and wave to the satellites. If any of my friends say anything in jest I'll say, "They didn't mean it, secret service dudes! It was only a joke!" just in case haha. 

After we calmed down from the shock of it all we decided either the daughter or the mom gave the tip to get back at me for calling the cops. The timing was too close to be a coincidence. I made the choice to switch schools (well bands) as that one had become too toxic. You bet I'm much more careful of what I post online nowadays. Earlier this year Cameron D'Ambrosio was arrested and jailed without bail for over a month due to a similar post on Facebook. He was thankfully released when a grand jury decided not to indict him on felony charges. It's really frightening to know that could have been me. 

This post was inspired by the novel The Execution of Noa P. Singleton by Elizabeth L. Silver. Mere months before Noa’s execution, her victim’s mother changed her mind about Noa’s sentence and vows to help stay the execution. Join From Left to Write on July 30 as we discuss The Execution of Noa P. Singleton.. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Good News, Bad News

Let me preface this by saying I'm not pregnant, I just thought the comic was funny. =)

Good News: My blood tests all came back mostly normal. The nurse said a few of them were off slightly but not nearly enough to be causing my fatigue. This means it's not my thyroid which I was worried about. Yay for not having to take another medication every day for the rest of my life! Double yay for not having to take thyroid meds, because those are a pain in the butt! My mom and grandma take them and you have to take them first thing in the morning with an empty stomach and you can't eat anything for two hours after.

Bad News: We still don't know what's causing the fatigue. The nurse said there are two other blood tests we need to do, and if those also come back normal it's probably depression.

Good News: I'm right handed, and my right hand/arm feels fine.

Bad News: Still having problems with my neck and now it's pretty much my whole left arm. I think it just about has to be neurological. The ulnar nerve in my right elbow (aka funny bone) got pinched several years ago and it feels a lot like that. My neck and shoulder hurt pretty much all the time, my elbow is aching more and more, there's numbness in my hand, etc. It's obvious this isn't just a case of "slept on it wrong".

Good News: Because of my aforementioned pinched nerve, I already have a neurologist! I was able to call them up and get an appointment no problem without needing to get a referral or anything.

Bad News: He's out of town so the soonest appointment I could get is August 14th.

Good News: I called the GP back and told them this and they called me in a muscle relaxer for the meantime. She is thinking it's a muscle that's pinched my nerve and not a herniated disc which would be good, but we haven't done any MRIs or x-rays yet so that's just speculation.

Bad News: I took a muscle relaxer when I first started having problems and it didn't seem to help much, but on closer inspection it expired a while ago so that might be why. My mother is picking it up from the pharmacy as I type so I really have no idea if it will even help.

Good News: I think maybe the B Complex vitamins are helping with the fatigue. I still feel really tired, but I'm not taking as many naps. I'm also not counting down the minutes until it's time to take my nightly meds so I can go to sleep. This could of course be due to the fact laying down is painful but I'd like to think it's the vitamins.

Bad News: The new muscle relaxer is supposed to make me drowsy! So basically I won't know if I'm getting better or not once I start taking it. The nurse said I could just take it at night but I'd rather be tired all day than in pain all day.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Punday 7/22

I almost forgot Punday! =O Last night I was gonna get it ready and schedule it for this morning, but then I thought, "No, I'll wait until I wake up so I can share it on FB, Twitter, and G+." Of course I woke up wanting to die due to pain so Punday was the last thing on my mind. Anyway without further ado, the puns!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Why My Genes Suck Reason #7342

Went to the doctor today for my fatigue. As I expected it could be one of a dozen things. They took two vials of blood and only had to stick me once which is basically a miracle. They will call me when the results come in, didn't specify how long that would take exactly. In the meantime I'm supposed to start taking a B complex vitamin because that's a lot cheaper than the blood test would be. Since depression is one of the possibilities she offered to give me some meds for that to try out as well but I passed. I'd hate to start taking both and then get better not knowing which one was responsible. I'm also a little iffy on getting that kind of help from a GP, so if all the tests come back fine and she does think it's depression I'll probably see about getting a referral.

Monday night/Tuesday morning I woke up with a sore neck/shoulder and couldn't for the life of me find a position to sleep in that wasn't painful. I don't have very much range of motion at all. Tried all the suggestions online but none of them seem to do any good. It is feeling a bit better today but not much. It really sucks feeling this fatigued but also not being able to sleep without hurting yourself. I joked to Josh that maybe my neck is tired of me sleeping so much lol. Mentioned it to the doctor while I was there but she didn't seem to worried. She said to just give it a few more days. I am a little concerned because sometimes when I move it in a way that hurts, I can feel it all the way to my pinky finger. That to me says something's going on with a nerve not just muscle. Both my sister and my aunt woke up like this one day and ended up needing surgery due to a herniated disc or something like that. I Googled it (I know, I know!) and you can be genetically predisposed to herniated discs so I do feel a bit paranoid right now.

Guys, I seriously promise I'm not hypochondriac. Really. These are just even more reasons I'm glad we are no longer pursuing a genetic child.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Punday 7/15

Saw this guy on America's Got Talent and knew I had to post him for Punday!

Friday, July 12, 2013

Dany is my Infertility/Loss Roll Model

Just a little something I whipped up tonight. I got the Game of Thrones font from here and the Volantene Script font from here. Image of Dany and Drogon is from here.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

When someone says How-do-you-do, just say you didn't.

My due date was the first and I've got to say, that did not go well. I had a few full on hyperventilating breakdowns and basically took a break from the internet. Somehow playing the Sims 3, complete with pregnancy and nooboos, didn't bother me. Perhaps because in a way, it allowed me to have the children I should've had? I don't know. I stayed away from blogs, Facebook, G+, and even Instagram since people have started posting announcements there recently. I watched Castle which thankfully was devoid of pregnancy and babies for the most part. Well, except a few episodes where one of the supporting characters was either subfertile or just unlucky, and found out his wife was pregnant at their first RE appointment. Oops hope that wasn't a spoiler.

During this time I felt so alone. Last year about 20 women who met online started a secret FB group, all of us having tried for a while, had diagnosed problems, or had suffered a loss. They were my main support system when I miscarried. We originally had a rule that you could stay when you got pregnant but no complaining! We know pregnancy isn't all rainbows and butterflies but it's insensitive to complain to people who would give anything to experience those things you are complaining about. Once we started getting BFPs and having losses (or scares) there was an unspoken exception when it came to the uncertainty and fear of early pregnancy. Now so many of them are pregnant it seems they've forgotten the rule altogether. What I hoped would continue to be my support system just seemed to make things worse.

It's also been raining way more than usual, which hasn't really helped my mood. The fact that our city flooded and streets were closed did give me a good excuse not to participate in Independance Day celebrations. It definitely made me think of the Steve Wariner song Holes in the Floor of Heaven. Like maybe our baby was just as sad as I was. Man, country music sure does know how to make you cry!

For the past several weeks I've been feeling pretty terrible. I thought it was because of my due date but now I think it's something else. I've been quite fatigued which has led to first slacking on my exercise and being more lax with my food choices, and now I'm doing good just walking around the house and eating Lucky Charms twice a day. I sleep all the time, and when I'm not sleeping I wish I was asleep. Like last night we went to bed at 11pm and I slept till 9:30am. Then I went back to sleep about noon and woke up again at 4:30pm. It's 8pm now and I already feel like I could go back to sleep. I constantly feel as if I've taken sleeping medication or have stayed up all night.

I have a doctor appointment next Wednesday but I'm not expecting any answers then as I'll probably need blood work and a follow up appointment. In the meantime Dr. Google has provided some possible causes. I could be anemic, which I have a history of but only after AF and it's never like this. It could be an issue with my thyroid or adrenal glands. It could be depression which wouldn't be terribly surprising I suppose. And of course it could be cancer, since according to Google everything could be cancer. I just hope whatever it is can be fixed relatively quickly and easily because this is nuts. Bonus points if I'm not stuck taking another medication everyday for the rest of my life.

Oh and it seems as if my endo has stopped improving and possibly even gotten a bit worse. For a while there were some days I'd only need 800mg of ibuprofen and 1000mg of acetaminophen however many times you're allowed to take it a day, and when I did need something stronger it would only be one dose. Now I'm back up to taking at least one Tramadol a day and sometimes two, plus the OTC stuff.

Not to mention yesterday I got two pregnancy announcements, one of which from a friend who is pregnant with her second child that they started trying for after we were TTC our first. This is the second person so far who has lapped us.

Sorry if this post seems like nothing but negativity, I tried to think of something positive to include but couldn't think of anything.