Monday, October 27, 2014

I used to be an adventurer like you...

I didn't exactly take an arrow to the knee, but something happened. The other day I was sitting at the computer with one leg tucked under the other, when it happened as I was trying to straighten it back out. It hurt, a lot. Sometimes joints pop for one reason or another and it's no big deal, but this was not one of those times.

Since then I've been stuck in bed or on the couch with my foot up. I can't remember spending this much time in bed since the lupron wore off. Today it was starting to feel a bit better as long as I didn't move it or put any weight on it. It hurt for a little while after moving but for the most part I was fine as long as I stayed still.

I say was because it popped again as I sat down after going to the kitchen. I'm not sure it hurts as much as that first day, but definitely more than the last two days. It's so unbelievably frustrating! It's not like I'm terribly mobile to begin with. And what really sucks is knowing I can't even go to the doctor about it because we don't have the money. Every time I feel like I'm making headway emotionally, with my depression, something else happens. I don't even feel like it's one step forward two steps back anymore. I attempt to take a step forward and life cuts that foot off for being presumptuous. There are only so many feet you can lose before you can't even try anymore. I'm not an octopus.

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