Eaten by Death

My husband and I were talking about what would happen if Voldemort was real because we're nerds like that. He said he would join up with him if he would let him be his Dark Lord apprentice. He'd be all about eating death. I said that death would be eating me, because there is no way I would survive a war. He says, "isn't that kind of what's happening already?" Not in a mean way, but as a joke about how crappy my body is. Then a few minutes later I yawn and let out a yell. Something happened to my neck like right under my chin on the left side. Kinda feels like I pulled a muscle. According to my husband, death wanted a snack. Now I'm trying to figure out how to strap an ice pack to my face.