Punday 7/22

I almost forgot Punday! =O Last night I was gonna get it ready and schedule it for this morning, but then I thought, "No, I'll wait until I wake up so I can share it on FB, Twitter, and G+." Of course I woke up wanting to die due to pain so Punday was the last thing on my mind. Anyway without further ado, the puns!

Why My Genes Suck Reason #7342

Went to the doctor today for my fatigue. As I expected it could be one of a dozen things. They took two vials of blood and only had to stick me once which is basically a miracle. They will call me when the results come in, didn't specify how long that would take exactly. In the meantime I'm supposed to start taking a B complex vitamin because that's a lot cheaper than the blood test would be. Since depression is one of the possibilities she offered to give me some meds for that to try out as well but I passed. I'd hate to start taking both and then get better not knowing which one was responsible. I'm also a little iffy on getting that kind of help from a GP, so if all the tests come back fine and she does think it's depression I'll probably see about getting a referral.

Monday night/Tuesday morning I woke up with a sore neck/shoulder and couldn't for the life of me find a position to sleep in that wasn't painful. I don't have very much range of motion at all. Tried all the suggestions online but none of them seem to do any good. It is feeling a bit better today but not much. It really sucks feeling this fatigued but also not being able to sleep without hurting yourself. I joked to Josh that maybe my neck is tired of me sleeping so much lol. Mentioned it to the doctor while I was there but she didn't seem to worried. She said to just give it a few more days. I am a little concerned because sometimes when I move it in a way that hurts, I can feel it all the way to my pinky finger. That to me says something's going on with a nerve not just muscle. Both my sister and my aunt woke up like this one day and ended up needing surgery due to a herniated disc or something like that. I Googled it (I know, I know!) and you can be genetically predisposed to herniated discs so I do feel a bit paranoid right now.

Guys, I seriously promise I'm not hypochondriac. Really. These are just even more reasons I'm glad we are no longer pursuing a genetic child.

Punday 7/15

Saw this guy on America's Got Talent and knew I had to post him for Punday!

Dany is my Infertility/Loss Roll Model

Just a little something I whipped up tonight. I got the Game of Thrones font from here and the Volantene Script font from here. Image of Dany and Drogon is from here.

When someone says How-do-you-do, just say you didn't.

My due date was the first and I've got to say, that did not go well. I had a few full on hyperventilating breakdowns and basically took a break from the internet. Somehow playing the Sims 3, complete with pregnancy and nooboos, didn't bother me. Perhaps because in a way, it allowed me to have the children I should've had? I don't know. I stayed away from blogs, Facebook, G+, and even Instagram since people have started posting announcements there recently. I watched Castle which thankfully was devoid of pregnancy and babies for the most part. Well, except a few episodes where one of the supporting characters was either subfertile or just unlucky, and found out his wife was pregnant at their first RE appointment. Oops hope that wasn't a spoiler.

During this time I felt so alone. Last year about 20 women who met online started a secret FB group, all of us having tried for a while, had diagnosed problems, or had suffered a loss. They were my main support system when I miscarried. We originally had a rule that you could stay when you got pregnant but no complaining! We know pregnancy isn't all rainbows and butterflies but it's insensitive to complain to people who would give anything to experience those things you are complaining about. Once we started getting BFPs and having losses (or scares) there was an unspoken exception when it came to the uncertainty and fear of early pregnancy. Now so many of them are pregnant it seems they've forgotten the rule altogether. What I hoped would continue to be my support system just seemed to make things worse.

It's also been raining way more than usual, which hasn't really helped my mood. The fact that our city flooded and streets were closed did give me a good excuse not to participate in Independance Day celebrations. It definitely made me think of the Steve Wariner song Holes in the Floor of Heaven. Like maybe our baby was just as sad as I was. Man, country music sure does know how to make you cry!

For the past several weeks I've been feeling pretty terrible. I thought it was because of my due date but now I think it's something else. I've been quite fatigued which has led to first slacking on my exercise and being more lax with my food choices, and now I'm doing good just walking around the house and eating Lucky Charms twice a day. I sleep all the time, and when I'm not sleeping I wish I was asleep. Like last night we went to bed at 11pm and I slept till 9:30am. Then I went back to sleep about noon and woke up again at 4:30pm. It's 8pm now and I already feel like I could go back to sleep. I constantly feel as if I've taken sleeping medication or have stayed up all night.

I have a doctor appointment next Wednesday but I'm not expecting any answers then as I'll probably need blood work and a follow up appointment. In the meantime Dr. Google has provided some possible causes. I could be anemic, which I have a history of but only after AF and it's never like this. It could be an issue with my thyroid or adrenal glands. It could be depression which wouldn't be terribly surprising I suppose. And of course it could be cancer, since according to Google everything could be cancer. I just hope whatever it is can be fixed relatively quickly and easily because this is nuts. Bonus points if I'm not stuck taking another medication everyday for the rest of my life.

Oh and it seems as if my endo has stopped improving and possibly even gotten a bit worse. For a while there were some days I'd only need 800mg of ibuprofen and 1000mg of acetaminophen however many times you're allowed to take it a day, and when I did need something stronger it would only be one dose. Now I'm back up to taking at least one Tramadol a day and sometimes two, plus the OTC stuff.

Not to mention yesterday I got two pregnancy announcements, one of which from a friend who is pregnant with her second child that they started trying for after we were TTC our first. This is the second person so far who has lapped us.

Sorry if this post seems like nothing but negativity, I tried to think of something positive to include but couldn't think of anything.

Punday 7/8