Saturday, October 12, 2013
From Left to Write: The Funeral Dress by Susan Gregg Gilmore
Once my mother saw a baby carrier sitting by itself and was tempted to bring it home to us. Thankfully the carrier had been left but there was no baby inside. Even if there was a baby and she did bring it to us I think I'd have to report it abandoned and hope they let us keep it. I mean you can't just start treating a baby as your own when you have no birth certificate, no social security number, no name. Eventually you'll have to tell people these things and it'll be obvious the baby isn't really yours.
Remember a while back I talked briefly about a family member in an abusive relationship? Well I just found out she's pregnant. Wouldn't be surprised if she did it on purpose to try and fix her marriage and her relationship with us. I fear for that baby, I really do. When everything was going down we thought what a blessing there are no kids involved! It's just not the kind of situation you should bring a child into. I won't lie, I wish I could take the baby from her. We may not be perfect but neither of us are abusive and it would be a much more stable home life. Right or wrong I feel like I deserve a child more than she does. I know the baby stealers in The Funeral Dress felt similarly. But could I actually take the baby and work it prove to the state we should have it instead? I don't think so. All I can do is hope she comes to her senses and leaves his sorry butt for good.
There are two couples who struggled with infertility in the book and I'd like to think I'm more similar to the other one. Instead of trying to take the baby as their own they opened their home to both mother and child, taking on a more grandparent type roll. We've opened our home to the pregnant family member before, but right now we won't be doing it again. Not if he kicks her out, at least. Not at first. If she were to stand her ground and leave him I think we would. We would be so happy she finally "got it" and would dote on that baby like you couldn't believe! Her baby can never take away the pain of not having our own, and while sometimes it might be triggering I think it would be worth it. If he kicks her out again and it becomes apparent he is not willing to father a child and will not be taking her back, I think we would offer her a place to stay if she hadn't found someplace better already. There are other people she could stay with in the meantime so they wouldn't be homeless.
If in 20 years from now we are still childless, or even if we aren't, and a young family member or friend needed our help (and they weren't in an on and off relationship) I'd like to think we'd take them in without hesitation. I can't really say what we'd do for sure since we've never been in that situation, but I know we wouldn't force her to give her baby to us. Adoption is certainly something on our minds but the birth mom would have to be okay with it.
No one has ever entrusted impoverished Emmalee with anything important but she takes it upon herself to sew her mentor’s resting garment in The Funeral Dress by Susan Gregg Gilmore. Join From Left to Write on October 15 as we discuss The Funeral Dress. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.