Wednesday, October 16, 2013

We Remember Them

I'm lucky in that there's a group here who organizes events for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. On Saturday they had a Walk to Remember with a remembrance ceremony, and actual walk around the park it was held in, and both a balloon and dove release. I have been ill the last week or two and wasn't able to go but I would definitely like to attend next year.

Yesterday they also hosted the Wave of Light. I remember last year I lit a candle at home for my friends who lost babies, not knowing my own pregnancy would end a week later. One of my friends actually messaged me yesterday morning about it (her SIL's baby was either stillborn or died shortly after birth, I can't remember), otherwise I would have missed it! Another friend of mine was planning on going as well but she ended up going to the wrong park lol. Hopefully we will both be able to attend both activities next year.

Crappy phone camera FTW?
Even though I'm still not feeling well I really wanted to go to this. Since it was mostly just standing and not walking or anything I figured I would be okay but I am feeling it today. When we got there they asked for our baby's name and gave us a paper with a reading on it. A bit before 7 o'clock they started with three readings, one gender neutral and one each about baby boys and baby girls. After each reading they lit a big candle on the memory table, you can kind of see in the picture above the candles with pink, white, and blue ribbons around them. Then there was the reading we were given the words too. The man in the blue shirt would read out a situation, like when it's raining or when flowers bloom in spring but more detailed and poetic than that, and then everyone would respond "we remember them". I'll be honest I didn't always respond because at this point I was pretty choked up.

Then it was time to light the candles. They read out each baby's name and their family would go up to the table and light a candle for them. If you went to the walk on Saturday but weren't able to come to this they read your baby's name anyway and one of the people in charge would light their candle. A lot of the families had special shirts with the name of their baby on them and their angelversary. I just wore a blue dress with a pink cami and Josh wore black. After all the names were read they played a song but I'm not sure what it's called. I've tried to search for it but no luck. Anyway I totally broke down crying and got snot all over Josh's shirt. It wasn't pretty.

I'm really glad we went even if it was super depressing. A lot of the families had small children, some of them definitely rainbow babies. Maybe next year?

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