Wednesday, March 5, 2014

I Wear Yellow For Me

I bleached my hair! You might remember in the fall I got my hair cut and the stylists said they wouldn't even try to get the red out of my hair. Well I decided to try it myself, and they were right lol. I bleached it twice and the bottom where it was the reddest and has been red the longest is still a strawberry blonde (a little lighter than the picture shows). I decided to go ahead and do it now for a few reasons. First it's endometriosis awareness month so no better time to have blonde hair, right? Second I'm on some super strong pain meds so now is when my neck arthritis would hurt the least. It still bothered my neck and shoulder obviously, but not nearly as much as when I tried to color is myself 6ish weeks after getting it cut. I got some purple I'm going to do one last time in a few weeks and once that fades I'll be going back to brown.

I have that dress in the picture which is kind of yellowy tan, some yellow skinny jeans, and a black and yellow floral shirt I've been wearing plus yellow nail polish. I did have someone ask about all the yellow recently but it was my little sister lol. She already knows I have endo so not much awareness raised there. It's hard to raise awareness though when you never leave the house! I also made myself this bracelet which has yellow for endo, teal for PCOS, and pink & blue for infertility/miscarriage. I am trying to wear it everyday this month. So far I've only taken it off to shower so I won't have as many opportunities to forget to put it back on!

I saw my therapist on Monday and we talked a bit about how my plans never seem to work out. I've been feeling like there is no point trying to plan anything if it's just going to not happen anyway. I've been feeling especially bad about always cancelling when we have plans to go see my friend who lives two hours away. My mom was asking me when I'd like to reschedule our visit for and I told her what's the point I'll just have to cancel again. I wish we could just spontaneously go one day when I'm feeling pretty good but it's just not possible. If I'm feeling okay either her, her husband, my husband, or my mom are busy. Talking about it helped though because she pointed out I'm probably hardest on myself. My friend probably isn't as frustrated and angry with me over it as I picture in my mind. She understands. But it's still hard.

My next lupron shot is supposed to be anytime now but they haven't called me about it yet. They said they'll call me whenever it comes in instead of me making an appointment. Tomorrow is my birthday and I was hoping it wouldn't be until after that. I don't know if the side effects will increase again and that would be a terrible way to spend my birthday. So that prayer seems to have been answered at least!

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