Cycle 12 CD25 - It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

You would cry too, if it happened to you!

I used to love Lesley Gore as a child. My mother had a record of hers and I'd play it over, and over. I liked It's My Party and You Don't Own Me, but my absolute favorite was Judy's Turn To Cry. What does this have to do with anything? Well today's my birthday, and we aren't having much of a party but I do kinda feel like crying. 

I didn't ovulate, I think that's pretty clear now. I never got any more fertile CM or a +OPK so it doesn't look like I'm going to. Honestly I'm having flashbacks to this time last year when something similar happened. I ovulated for the very first time in February and didn't again until August. I feel like the same thing has happened now as happened then. I ovulated the first cycle I was on Clomid and the first cycle I was on Femara but then didn't afterwards even though I should have. Those 6 months were terrible, I don't want to go through that again. 

At least then I was able to increase my Clomid dose and hope eventually it would work. Well I spoke to the nurse today and we aren't increasing the Femara. I am to test just in case and start provera tomorrow, then I'll be back on 5mg again. I know I've heard of people being on 7mg so I don't know why they won't increase it. Not much I can do about it though. I should go see an RE and see about next steps, injectibles or  something, but we can't afford that. 

I feel like I've put my body through all this for nothing. I kind of regret going down this road at all and wish I would have just had my hysterectomy in September 2011. At least then I might be able to work or finish school and we'd be more than a year closer to being able to adopt than we are now. 

Sorry if my blog has turned into a giant pity party but I'm having a hard time seeing any positives right now. Happy Birthday to me.