Wednesday, September 11, 2013

This Week Sucks

This has just been a sucky week so far. I'm ready for some good news and happiness! On Sunday I found out an IF friend lost their baby just a week or two after graduating due to anencephaly. For those lucky enough to not know what that is, basically part of the skull and/or brain do not form because of a neural tube defect. So yeah, that sucks.

Another friend who I mentioned two weeks ago has been in limbo since then. It's not my place to really talk about it all, but it's kinda been a rollercoaster of good news and bad news. Today she found out for sure it's not viable. My heart truly breaks for them, in fact I'm on the verge of tears. She is one of the people I care about most and I hate that she not only has to go through this, but there's nothing I can do to make it better.

Then I got a few pregnancy announcements from people who either weren't trying or weren't infertile. I've gotten a bit better about taking announcements well but these just came at a bad time. It's hard to see people get pregnant so easily when my IF friends are suffering so deeply. I cleaned out my Facebook friends list, going from over 200 friends to 98, and hid some of those I didn't feel like I could delete. I need to do my instagram as well since so many are announcing on there now. I think now there is a smaller chance of seeing announcements from people who I wouldn't be genuinely happy for.

Yesterday night AF showed up out of the blue. Since I've been on the Aygestin she's only shown up when I missed a dose, but I know for sure I didn't this time. After I missed a dose and got AF in June I set an alarm on my phone like I used to do for birth control to remind me to take it. There are also a few other medications I'm taking at the same time so I know I didn't just turn the alarm off and then forget. I finally get used to what my body's doing and then it switches it up on me. Thankfully the Aygestin is at least doing some of what it's supposed to and keeping my lining thin because it's much, much lighter than my usual, however it's still very painful.

Along with that we've also been dealing with some drama over the last two weeks that came to a head last night. I'm glad I'm "out" about my blog most of the time, but the downside to not being anonymous is not being able to talk freely about stuff like this. Someone I really care about is being mistreated and over the last few weeks things have escalated until Friday this person was removed from the situation and they came to stay with us. We have tried to be supportive and help this person as much as we can, but there is only so much we can do. Yesterday they ran back to the abuser despite everything we've done to keep them safe. This is a pattern that has been ongoing since I was a teenager and we just feel so used and angry at the both of them. As much as we want to see this person out of the situation for good, we have to remove ourselves from their cycle of abuse for our own good. You can't help someone until they're ready to help themselves.

Our anniversary is coming up next Thursday the 19th which also happens to be Talk Like A Pirate Day. We don't have any plans yet but I'm looking forward to having something to celebrate rather than mourn.

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