Cycle 10 CD29 (12dpo) - Big Effin' Negitive

I was so sure. I don't know why I was, just set myself up for disappointment. For the past week or so I've felt like I had some great symptoms. I tested at 9dpo and thought I saw a really super faint line. Like one of those that you only see sometimes. Normally I would have just thought "line eye" and not gotten my hopes up, but very recently one of my friends had a line like that at 9/10dpo and then got great lines a few days later. But I guess it really was line eye or an indent maybe. This batch of tests seem to get a lot of indents.

So next cycle. Next cycle. Sigh. AF should be here tomorrow or Friday. I hope she waits until Friday because I'm going almost two hours away tomorrow for my dress fitting, and I really don't want to have to deal with that. This next cycle is going to be problematic because of our cruise. I'm not sure what to do. We'll be gone from CD9/10 till CD17/18 which is pretty inconvenient. I'm supper glad I won't have AF, but this is about the worst possible timing other than that. If I O the same time I did this cycle, which I think is safe to assume since the protocol is the same, then I'll O the last day or two of our cruise. If I go back to O'ing CD20 then I'll still be in my fertile period on the cruise.

I know what you're thinking, "Babymoon! Vacation is a great time to conceive!" This is probably true for most people, but in our situation it's not as easy as that. I want to just relax on this vacation we've been planning for like 7 months or something. Unfortunately "relax and it will happen" isn't as applicable when you're infertile. For one thing Clomid makes me pretty miserable. For another trying to temp on vacation isn't going to be easy. Who wants to carry around OPKs and a plastic pee cup on vacation? I know I won't be able to take my Metformin. I can't even remember to take it when we go out to dinner now, so there's no way I'm going to remember on vacation, and I have to take it right with dinner or it makes me sick. I'm going to have to take 6 different supplements with us and remember to take them everyday. I'm going to have to keep track of our BD timing and make sure it's enough but not too much, and no one wants to worry about that on vacation.

So the logical thing would be to take the cycle off, right? Only that comes with it's own problems. A while back I read an article about new research that suggests cycles starting with an induced AF have a lower pregnancy rate. I can already tell by my temps that cycles starting with an induced period are different than ones with a natural one. The time we conceived was the only time so far that I ovulated after a natural AF. So it seems like this next cycle might have a better chance since I will have a natural AF. If I skip next cycle and don't take Clomid, then I probably won't O and have to induce AF again, and them when we start back TTC my chances will be lower again. Sigh.

Oh and one of my pregnant friends went for a scan today and was told it's likely her baby won't survive due to bad Down's or a heart defect or both. She's been bleeding for a few days. Oh and my friend I mentioned earlier who had the super faint line on 9/10dpo and then got great lines lost her baby too. This year is really starting out with a bang.